Feeling a bit uneasy

Life in Recovery
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Not sure what to do I’m 18 days sober, but have challenged myself to do 3 months, my partner has booked a night out later on in may for us, which will be lots of drinks, I said I’d have a drink then as I’d of had a good break and be able to respect it again as years ago I did, but I’d also like to carry on being sober if I have the strength, I’ve isolated myself from places and things so I won’t drink, so I believe I’d have to not go, which is going to really upset him, so feeling uneasy at the moment, hope everyone is well and staying strong

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Welcome. I remember when I was in my short quit/try to moderate/fail/short quit cycle. I think it really boils down to if you think it’s important enough to quit for some period of time, why isn’t it important to quit forever?

I wasn’t really free until I resolved to quit forever, and embraced the concept of quitting forever. With that in mind, I set my goal to not drink today. I now have over 5 years of not drinking today.

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Hey, Laura
Girl…Go!
You can still have the trip, without drinking and continue your sobriety. I went to bars, weddings, and even a sorority graduation without drinking. Don’t miss out, just don’t drink. None of us have “controlled drinking”, that is why we don’t drink. Have fun, stay sober, and smile.
Blessings and love :heart:

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Have you tried any of the non-alcoholic bubbly drinks on the market that promote a calming, relaxing experience? They can be pricey…Just a thought to replace alcoholic beverages.

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Ahhh ive been there. My hubby and i agreed to not drinking for a month and i was feeling loads better in sobriety and wanted to see how long i could go but was concerned if i’d have my hubbys support. After all we were eachothers drinking buddies. If i change that will change the dynamic. Ultimately i showed him my post on here, he said “oh you wanna keep going. Ill support you” of course thats the best possible outcome.

Long story short…sober living is amazing and if you want to keep living sober do it.

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Its definitely tough when a “night out” comes up. It’s super hard to imagine what life will be like without drinking. Will i ever have fun? Will i still have my friends? What about the holidays and birthdays and concerts etc?
Yes you will still have fun sober. Give it time. It seems impossible to imagine but i promise the grass is greener on the other side. These days I can honesty say im never sorry I missed out on someone’s wild friday night. Im not sick ever on a Saturday or Sunday (i was usually sick everyday). I dont regret what I said, who i called or who im waking up next to.
I think its tough when it comes to other loved ones who still choose to drink. But i will tell you that if you decide to get sober stick with the people who support that. Those are the keeper’s. You want cheerleaders and people proud of your sobreity. Congrats on the 19 days! Bezt of luck.

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Thank you all very interesting and very positive and all very true thankyou for the support, means alot, helps a lot to the way you feel and think, I said no too drinks again last night and other things, which makes me feel even stronger, thank you again stay strong all :grin::heart:

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I stayed sober from the time I woke up until I went to bed at night, maybe 16 or 18 hours. I did that each day. I still keep my “event horizon” of sobriety short. And events coming up in two months? I figure if I can stay sober this day, I can stay sober that day, too.

Here’s a thread full of ideas for you.

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If you want to live sober and your partner can’t support that, are they really the right partner?

It sounds like you’re worrying about something without having addressed it with your partner first- most people will support you if you ask! So if it’s important to you… tell them.

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Hi Laura, congrats on your 18 days!

A few thoughts:

  1. When I started my attempts to control my drinking, I was truly hiding from my husband how bad things had gotten. The problem was so severe that every time I tried to stop I got violently sick and started drinking again to feel “normal”. Mind you, I was a highly functioning alcoholic, so to break the news to my husband that I had to quit, was tough. But guess what? I had his support then and there. Now he has drinks once in a while and it doesn’t faze me in the least. He can enjoy his drink and I can enjoy my whatever I’m having.

  2. Took me some time to be ok to be around drinks. In the beginning, I was journaling, planning ahead what I would drink, what I would do if I felt tempted, have an exit plan if it got too much. You need to know when you feel comfortable having your partner or friends drinking around you.

  3. I can honestly say that I can now have fun without drinking. Really. Dancing fun, laugh like crazy fun, be silly fun, you name it. If the place/situation is fun, it is regardless of the drinks. If it’s not fun, but people are drinking out of boredom, I just excuse myself and have some good sleep - never regretted calling it a night!

So.

  1. Talk to your partner. You may be surprised :blush:
  2. Be honest with yourself to see if you’re ok to be around drinks already. Only you can answer that.
  3. Sober life is really worth it, fun, healthy, and if you decide to try to continue on this journey beyond the original 3 months planned, you may realize that it’s much more…vivid than life with drinks. Nothing is blurred. At least it’s the way I see it. :heart:
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Thank you so much means alot I will stay intouch on my journey xx

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