I have a terrible trigger that has me very upset and my brain immediately went to wanting wine. It is again related to my husband’s gaming habit… I spent the morning at the pediatrician with two of my three kids. My 3-year-old had been up since 4:30 AM my 7-year-old kept me up until midnight excited for Christmas break. He works graveyard and came home at 7. I was wrestling three exhausted kids out the door to go to their appointment at 830 while he watched TV in bed appearing to be falling asleep. I dropped the oldest off at my sister’s, wrestled a cranky 3-year-old and rowdy 6 year old for 2 hours at the Dr.'s office, picked up the oldest and came home to scramble up some lunch before putting my 3-year-old down for a nap. I FINALLY get 5 minutes to myself to scarf down a salad and log onto the computer and see his gaming profile was up and he spent 2 hours playing after I left. He PRETENDED to go to bed, waited until I left, then got up and played his game! I am so mad right now! He could have spent that time helping me or at least keeping the oldest home to save me drop-off and pick-up time and premade lunch so that I can get on with the rest of my day after returning home. I had to vent about this on here because I am so upset that I want to go wake him up right now and tell him I just got the biggest urge to drink because he completely manipulated me and abandoned our life on a crazy day so he could play a gosh darn video game.
Hugs. Men can suck. Not all of them, of course. Just keep strong. You’re doing this for you and your kids. You can’t change him. You can tell him how you feel but ultimately he will have to make his own decisions. 
@Gemstone123 your hubby should have taking his responsibility and go to action , to help you on this day. I really think he should take his part. Its take two to parenting . Damn. I do understand your frustrating on this. Please do not give in on drinking . You need to talk With your man and tell him what is on your mind . Before you do something you will regret
@Oliverjava Thank you for the encouragement. I wish I could have the “no one can control my happiness” attitude but I am having a really hard time. I put off my education, moved 3,000 miles away from everyone I know to support his career. I raised babies while he went offshore and it was worth it because when he came home we were a happy family. Now he works a different job, I go to school full time and operate a small business to try and make ends meet and I’m running myself dry while he has all this time to play his game. Every single thing I do is for my family and that makes me happy but a lot of things I do because he won’t and it makes me more and more resentful. Any of the dozen ways I’ve tried to change my thinking end up with a lose-lose-win. I lose, kids lose, and he gets his precious game. I can be sober and do this… I really think I can but I just can’t accept this as my happiness. Putting on a happy face because “I can only be responsible for my happiness” is partly what lead to my drinking in the first place. I really do want to accept what I cannot change about this… but I just don’t know how.
@Cobaltchris Thank you, I will not cave today. I vented on here and to a trusted friend and that took my urge away. I really want to talk to him… but it’s been nearly two years of this and there is nothing to say that I haven’t already. I’m afraid for our marriage because my last relapse was really scary. I just can’t keep putting the idea of keeping my family together before my sobriety. I’ve tried to compromise, marriage counseling, ultimatums, threats, reasoning… After reading some very much appreciated responses over the past couple weeks on here I think the only thing left to tell him is I choose me and my sobriety and if that means separating from him then that is just what is going to have to happen as much as I absolutely don’t want it to. I might not be happy if that happens, but at least the burden of resentment will not be weighing so heavily on my shoulders. I will not drink… it’d be easier to, but I won’t.
I can’t say much that’s not in anger for you right now.
I know I’d take an axe to the computer but I’m a bit harsh and that’s not going to solve it. He has to realize these pixels on a screen aren’t love for his wife and three beautiful kids. He’s been told in plain English to stop or cut back and he can’t even support you to get 2 sick ones out the door?
You’re not his mother too.
Can you get his mother in on this? Is there anyone he’d listen to?
So proud of you for not drinking through this. Despite every reason to, you chose you and the kids. You are a good momma and person. You’ll get through this. This time is different and he knows. That’s why he’s hiding like a child from you. You’re already stronger. Keep sober. Get a plan. Take your time. Keep posting and keep your chin up. This too shall pass.
Thank you @SoberSteph your words mean a lot. I’m not sure if it’d do any good to try and have his parents intervene, but I will think about it. They know we have struggled with the gaming issue before and I’m not sure if they would be very helpful.
I’m not making any decisions right now, my husband knows I’m upset and I don’t like working on problems while I’m emotionally heated. I’m going to focus on my Christmas cheer and take some time to come up with a logical plan for change.
Thank you guys so much for listening… I appreciate the support! I did not drink and I’m doing okay 
Merry christmas:) be gratefull and be in present
Merry Christmas to you!
Thank you. Dinner done. We having a Great time without alcohol. Soon presents . Im very gratefull of everything
@Cobaltchris,
I’ve been trying to figure it out since you spoke about it this morning. In Norway you are 6 hours ahead of me here on the East Coast in the US. How is it that Christmas came a day early there…? Lol, please enlighten me.
Lol its Scandinavian tradition i guess . it has always been 24.12 christmas day