I have an upcoming trip that I planned 10 months ago prior to me committing to my sobriety. I currently have almost 4 weeks sobriety under my belt. I’m nervous about backsliding on the trip. I’m going to the Carribean with a group of 20 people, let me add most everyone in the group drinks. The trip is a 50th birthday soiree for my best friend. I’ve thought about canceling the trip. But it would be difficult to lose a bunch of money. Additionally, my husband is really looking forward to the trip. We got into a heated discussion when I mentioned my thoughts on canceling. Also, the guilt factor of letting my best friend down is killing me. I’ve spoke to her about my commitment to my sobriety. She seems supportive. I’m just not sure, I’ll have the willpower to resist temptation. I’ve come along way and feeling so much better since I put down the bottle. I’ve been to a few parties and even a bar with friends within the past 2 weeks and never touched a drop of alcohol. I’m finally at the point where I don’t crave a drink. I have a tough decision to make. Any thoughts? Should I put myself in a vulnerable situation and test my willpower or should I cancel and remain safe? TY for letting me vent. 
Have you read “the naked mind”? It’s a really great book in my opinion. It also has a podcast that I listen to often. The reason I bring it up is because I haven’t avoided any social situations since I went alcohol free 2.5 weeks ago. I do think has a lot to do with that book and podcast. More importantly I don’t feel
Like I’m missing anything even when I’m surrounded by my drunk friends at a bar. I don’t know if it will help you but I did for me.
TY for the suggestion. I’m going to look into downloading the book on Google books. Since my sobriety, I’ve
become a bit of a bookworm. Self-help mostly.
It does seem a shame to cancel. Ultimately it’s your call though. Is your hubby totally supportive? 100% behind you? If he is it should make it easier for you. Just stick to him like glue! Also your friend seems to understand. It’s a big enough party that you should be able to distance yourself from the out and out drinking!
Holidays away can be rough and they can also be a wonderful way to get a lot of me time in. Schedule some spa time just for you during cocktail hour(s). Get up early to work out or go for a walk. Does the hotel offer yoga or any lessons? Let the bartenders know you don’t drink alcohol. They can make yummy fruity drinks for you to satisfy your sweet tooth and need for an umbrella drink. Take a LOT of naps or tests in your room. Enjoy your hangover free mornings.
Having a plan or 2 really helps. Knowing when to excuse yourself and head back to the room for self care is key.
Keep us posted.
I did the same thing too. I was like then when I quit smoking a year ago. It’s also why I like that book and podcast. It’s more than not drinking. It all gets into some deep self work since it’s hard to happpliy change something unless you understand your root behaviors. I hope it resonates with you. Let me know if you like it.
For most things, I would say cancel. This is a tough one, though.
I know I would go, because money and friendship. Be very cautious of your feelings, your HALT, make a plan on what to do instead of drinking. So much of it goes on there but I guarantee there will be others that are finding other ways of enjoying the beautiful scenery.
Eat a ton of tropical fruit and indulge in multiple massages and resort classes if they are available. Bring a couple of good sobriety tool books with you, journal a ton, and pray like your life depends on it (or meditate).
Drink a lot of frothy, happy, AF drinks but make sure they are AF!
There’s probably an AA meeting where you’re going. I love traveling! I didn’t want to stop doing things I love in order to stop drinking. Life goes on and the booze flows around us. I find meetings everywhere I’ve traveled. As soon as you find others feeling like you are, maybe you’ll give yourself another 24 hours sober. That’s helped me along to stay sober 1 year. I also recommend The Naked Mind.
Just make sure you have an out. Depending on your level of temptation. It can be as easy as going to the bathroom or you may need to take some more time. Ultimately you will need to find a way to cope with the urge.
I’m almost 2 years and I still have moments where a drink would be nice. I have to beat that drink. I have power over that drink. I lose after that. But if I can beat the first one, I can win the game.
My advice is versus looking at the entirety of the trip, break it down into blocks. Morning through night. Get through each little block successfully and you have a day. Each day will add up and the next thing you know is the trip is over.
You can’t swallow am elephant whole. It’s one bite at a time. Same can be said for staying sober. Forever is nothing more than a collection of days. Good luck on your journey.
Can you get a prescription of antabuse for the trip?
I agree about reading books. Fill your suitcase with books about addiction and recovery. This Naked Mind was recommended. I also recommend Drink: The Initmate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol. But also read Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster by Kristen Johnston (actress from 3rd Rock from the Sun). Her story of addiction and the medical complications (ie: near death experience) she had from it will surely scare anyone into remaining clean. Read these books on the beach, by the pool, any time you are relaxing. Keep sobriety on your mind.
You also need to make plans. These are my recommendations…
I have learned that I NEED to be the first one to order drinks. I yell out “Club Soda with Lime” before anyone else can order anything that my tempt me to change my mind. Also let everyone know that you WILL NOT drink. Tell them “don’t even bother teasing me or tempting me”. A true friend will respect that.
Another plan is to fill your days with the activities. Yoga on the beach. Archery on the grass. Trivia games at night. Karioke…dance competitions…tug of war… Do anything and EVERYTHING…you will have soooo much fun and you won’t have time to even think about drinking.
All the best. I sure wish I was going somewhere warm right now. 
I listened to the podcast last night. Very powerful. I purchased the book as well. TY for sharing.
Never heard of it. Is this something a Physician could prescribe? I’ll have to ponder that. My concern with that is I don’t want to depend on a pill to walk the straight plank. But temporary for the trip might be something to consider.
Your physician would prescribe it. You would become violently ill if you drank on it. It is hard on the liver, but might be a short term solution.
I know, right?!? Someone turned me on to it from here and it’s been a huge influence in my journey. They have a community as well on their app which I spend time on as well as here.
I’m glad it made a good impact on you.