Hi y’all, thats my First topic and an ask for opinion and your experience. Im 34 days sober after 20 years daily drinking, more less excesivelly. On my sober journey i have realized, that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING ist so new, I feel like a kid learning to walk. I mean, I dont recognise myself, my feelings, I have no clue of what i enjoy, or what I dont, everything seems bestranged. Sometime I Just sit around, No thoughts or emitions, no feelings, just beeing there, existing. Im nit sad at all but I feel like I was in a foreign country, foreign language, im so puzzled.
I really enjoy being sober, love my newly won energy, and really looking forward to discovering this new me, this new world surrounding me. Im actually astonished. Anyone had such feelings in their Journey?
I had that same feeling of discovering who I really was.
Sounds like you get to choose to be whoever you want to be! What an amazing opportunity! Good luck 
Absolutely Karo! I definitely felt like this…i understand that its unnerving just as anything new can be but my advice is to embrace it…strip it back to basics and get to know who you really are without the drinking…i wrote actual lists…i have 2 lists on my phone …1 list is anything and everything that makes me happy even small things like my favourite sweets through to bigger things like helping people…whenever i got that lost feeling id reference the list and do more of those things…my other list is things im grateful for which helps keep me in a positive mindset. I can tell you that what your feeling right now is absolutely valid and normal in early sobriety. Congratulations on your 34 days 
Thank you Starlight, I Love the Idea of the lists! Espe ially the little things, that I can try to do more often. I think the word “lost” that you have used describes perfectly the state. It isnt a sad lost, more of a happy lost. But still lost. Thanks so much 
You are most welcome 
you are right where u need to be and asking the right questions to fellow addicts in recovery…this is how we learn …from a community who understand…wish you well on your journey, stay connected xxxx
I absolutely feel like this also. Some days I wake up and the world is great, I’m full of energy, all is good. Then I get days like today… just sat, staring at my phone and the walls. I think drinking took up such a huge amount of my time (consuming/recovering) that I now have an empty void. I’ve started exercising and going for walks, but days like today I just can’t be arsed doing anything, these are the times I would have hit the booze. I think I drank due to boredom. On the plus side I’m still bored, but healthier and better off financially.
I don’t know when this will go away for me. When I was 90 days clean, life still felt so unusual, so new and strange. Of course I wasn’t weirded out all the time, feeling “normal” came in waves more and more. But a big part of the day, its novel, like I don’t even remember what human emotions are supposed to feel like.
Now on day 42 it is actually starting to feel weirder and the alienness of life becomes more intense. Cravings got less so that’s good. But getting used to this sober state? Won’t happen soon for me haha.
This feeling of being in a foreign country describes it perfectly. One reason I get clean is to be able to find new friends and get to know more people on this earth. It’s easier when sober but I still feel this barrier between me and other people. My brother told me it’s because we germans are more reserved but I don’t think that’s the main reason. I think it’s because I was isolating so long and was on drugs so long, I forgot and now have to relearn how to meet new people. That adds to the “foreign country feeling” for sure
Hey Dreams, Grüße aus Bayern 
yeah, you hit the spot, im too so disconnected with my emotions and feelings, no idea how im supposed to feel. Im still triggered sometimes, but ya, its getting less…i really want to get to know this strange world, all those strange people with strange emotions, I know that with one drink its all gone, i wont give a damn about the real world. the empty Pages waiting to be re-written will be closed again and the narrative the same as usuall- drama, fake passion, fake emotions.
Absolutely, boredome is one of them great reasons I was drinking. I get bored so easily, alcohol hepled me Turn anything boring into something more…spectecular. Well I think that one of the largest challanges of my sobriety will be filling up those boring moments with something meaningfull. But thats of course waaaaaay harder and needs more effort than just grabing a few drinks. You literally have to do something, get ready, go out, talk, move your butt…striving for a dopamine kick AND being lazy at the same time is a challange…
Moin Grüße aus münster, NRW xD , I’d reply in German but for the others in this forum English fits better. At the moment I try to make friends with the strangeness. Accept the awkwardness as part of life now. Life is strange and surprising. Getting sober means getting into the unknown: we both know what happens if we indulge, we know exactly how we’re gonna feel, talk, act, etc. But with sobriety we don’t really know what’s going on. And that’s kinda the beauty of it too. At least for me, I like not knowing how I’m gonna feel in an hour or even in 10 minutes. Yes my emotions may get chaotic or sometimes they stay the same but because no substance controlls my mind, there is much more place for change.
Congrats on 34 days btw, and much strength on your day 35! 
Congratulations on your 34 days!! I can totally relate. I had lived my whole teen to adult life with substances in my system and tamping down my emotions…it was all so new. I was like …wow…where have I been all my life? Kind of sad if I let it be, but also like you say, a big wide wonderful world out there and inside me to discover. All the experiences of life to have without any substance in between. Learning how to truly be and feel.
A human, being. I call those moments bliss. 
Enjoy your life!!