Day 82 in my recovery.
It startet almost a week ago with tons of flashback even when i am awake. And yesterday during my group therapy session something hit me real hard, and something feels so wrong and bad today.
Me and my therapist are doing something about that i avetaged 2 hours of sleep each day since Monday. And this is not sustainable, and probably why i am seing things while i am awake.
My medicine isn’t working as it should, and are probably making it worse.
I am so close to relapsing at the moment, and trying to reach out to all my possibilities, including venting here. But it is something that i am feeling ashamed about that i am not “working” as i was before i got kidnapped. And that i am so fragile that i cant get back to being “normal”.
I have to accept that this i the new reality. But it is so hard to accept…
Good job on coming here before picking up. Thats progress in itself
This is your reality right now. Life is fluid and subject to change. I highly recommend EMDR therapy. It sounds like you are suffering from some PTSD. I had never heard of EMDR before when i got help for my PTSD but it helped me process my trauma and move passed it.
I am never gonna give up on the power of hope. And the strong heart from inside.
Looked up emdr treatment and it sounds like something i will give a try, even though i have to save up a bit.
How is your PTSD now? If you could compare? In Denmark you will need to be 6 months clean before they will give you any diagnose or “help”, cause it could be a addiction psykosis.
After one year of therapy, i think monthly, i was “cured”. Warning: you will have to talk about the trauma and process it so the events dont have the same mental and physical effect on you. My therapist used alternating sound and a light bar.
