Oh, the irony! If your friend is complaining about you getting too wasted, they should not be complaining about you doing something about it. They can’t have it both ways. This is really common though, and there are a number of things that can be going on. People can be surprised, confused, jealous, they can take things personally without reason to do so. If you kept struggles to yourself, this probably comes as way out of the blue to them. They may not even act in a way that makes sense if they are not processing as quickly as they are reacting.
If they’re upset because they wanted to spend time with you, you can find ways to spend time together that don’t involve drinking after tonight. If they’re upset because they wanted a drinking buddy, they’re just going to have to deal with it.
Sometimes people just don’t know how to react when someone says they’re taking time off drinking. And they may not realize that your not drinking is a big deal. If they don’t know what it’s like, then they might think it’s fine for you to make compromises and exceptions, and thus expect you to do so. They will have to learn that you want to take this seriously.
You can explain that it’s important to you, that it’s something you want to take seriously, and whether or not you want to say more than that is up to you. You want to see what things are like without drinking, you want a clearer head, you want to nurture your body (people do cleanses, after all), you want to limit the amount of toxins going into your body… there’s a lot of reasons why someone might want to stop drinking regardless of whether or not they have a problem. These are reasons they should respect, in time. I say in time, because if they are feeling a sense of fear feeling like they’re losing a friend, those emotions may take time for them to work through before they can see things more clearly.
But when people who are friends based around drinking, no longer have that in common, usually that relationship doesn’t carry forward. It’s rooted in a place you are no longer choosing to be. Once in a while, someone who only drank with you may become interested in starting to hang out in other ways, and these “bonus friends” are a gift. But there’s nothing you can control about it. Let the chips fall where they may.
Do I miss people I used to drink with? Not particularly. I mean, they were nice, but not really an important part of my life. Do I miss drinking with them? No. I used to think I did, even after starting recovery, but over time my hindsight became more and more clear. Whatever I liked, alcohol was not necessary for it. Being happy? letting loose? getting to know people better? These don’t require alcohol, but sometimes they require practice and work to develop.
This, 100%. It definitely felt like mourning, to me. But one thing I had to realize with time, is that it wasn’t my lifestyle that I was missing. I missed being in a place of familiarity, I missed being able to reassure myself with lies, I missed knowing what to expect in my day. I missed hiding.
And I had a lot of fears that made it hard to accept moving forward. But being uncomfortable is necessary for growth.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to overload you with a wall of text 
There’s a lot to digest with this life change, but since it doesn’t happen overnight, you don’t have to digest it overnight either. Just take things as they come, one day at a time. Who knows how your friend will feel about things tomorrow? There is just today. Today you are not drinking. Today, you are growing and contemplating and learning. Today, you are making your body happy. Keep it up!
one of the many moments of clarity for me was enjoying weekend days fully, and not just “sleeping it off.” It is fun and fulfilling!!
little by little my so called friends started calling greedy and stopped inviting me. ME greedy? I would spend a lot of money on them and they got upset that I was no longer doing it. Now its just me, my girl, my doggie and one friend…That one friend would help me out when I was withdrawing so I held on to him.
