Feeling empty want to use

I feel really empty even though I went to NA tonight. Just feeling down. I just want to rip a cone to make it all better. I can’t though, I will be back at square one. I have my meditation music on and I am in bed.

My mental health is challenging me tonight especially the abandonment issues. I have a lot of fear about losing certain people.

I feel like if my best friend leaves me I will just go back to smoking pot again to numb it. I am sick of losing friends.

I want to make better healthier friends. It is quite hard. I know I will get there in time.

All I can do is hold on to hope and pray.

Hold on to the reasons why you quit. I always feel so much better about myself sober. My subconscious likes to play the devils advocate and try to push me to drink or get high, but then I’m useless and get nothing done. Life is better sober when you are constantly punishing yourself for using. Keep your chin up, you can do this.

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Sometimes I have to force myself to pick just one task to focus on and try to finish. Yesterday I finally cleaned out an area of my closet that has been cluttered for over a year. The hard part was getting started. Could be any little task. Like shredding mail. I tend to focus on stuff that spiffs up my living space because clutter drives me nuts. Like today, I’m going to clean off the bathroom counter later. It’s gotten gross. I always feel so much better after I fix something like that- it’s a productive distraction.

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I don’t think my previous reply addressed what you’re feeling, I’m sorry. The lonely feeling sucks, and it can make minutes feel like hours. You’re in bed- do you like to read in bed or maybe sketch? I guess I’m trying to think of distracting activities for you. And we’re here for you! I’ve been on the forum part of the app a lot the past two days, commenting and reading- I’m feeling connected to everyone else here who is struggling and trying so hard. Hang in there, we don’t know each other in person, but I assure you we have empathy and we care!

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I totally agree that doing productive things makes me feel better. And it reminds me that I wouldn’t have even done it in the first place if I was drinking. It’s a 2 birds with 1 stone thing. Try and remember things you used to love doing when you weren’t fucked up all the time… They will bring back your self confidence and really help with the loneliness. We’re all here for support. :purple_heart:

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Hey people :heart:️ I didn’t use so I am so proud of myself. Today I went to 2 MEETINGS WOW! And I got a sponsor!

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Congrats!!! Enjoy another day where you are in control 🖒😁

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Good luck. Try some positive visualization. Works for me.