Long story short I’m feeling pretty guilty about smoking marijuana because I have a loved one that loves it to but thing is he can not handle it at all he turns into a person that I don’t recognize anymore but thing is he says it’s fine but in a way I feel like it’s going to come back and bite me in the butt if I continue because sometimes eventually he’ll see me doing it and ask hay can I have some but it’s like you can’t handle it and when you ask you tell me to tell you no if you ask but when I do that he gets mad at me and tells me that that’s not fair that I can do it but he can’t
But yet again he tells me to tell him no when he asks me so I’m feeling like I’m in a loop that’s about to repeat it’s self and it’s gust going to hurt our relationship and that’s so not what I want
But thing is I have literally no choice but to do it because I have chronic pain off and on through out the day and also I have mental health so I literally have to have it so I’m able to get out of bed every day to take care of work and my children and household duties but other then that I honestly wouldn’t have it around my life
Because in my life my family and loved ones come first but yet I need it to help myself so I’m able to help my loved ones so if anyone has advice that would be appreciated because I’m gust truly gust tired of feeling the way I have been
I could have written most of that as I began my sober journey. When I got sober I found out there were better ways to deal with pain and mental health issues.
I can completely identify with what you are saying, from both sides of the bottle (in my case, yours is the pipe). Before I was able to quit, I justified and denied. I had wonderful intentions and really meant it when I said “my kid comes first”. But she didn’t. I had to have the bottle first to deal with her.
I had some depression and mixed up thinking - as it turns out, a result of years of heavy drinking. But I thought that drinking would make me feel better. In truth, maybe 5 or so years before I got sober, I recognized that I was drinking for that buzzed feeling that the world was all good and golden and mellow - and that came early in the drinking episode and only lasted 20 minutes or so. Then I chased it and chased it and never caught up to it.
I don’t know the first thing about you, but I can tell you that no matter what else is going on, the weed is not helping. For me, there was nothing so bad that a drink could not make worse, and nothing that a drink could make better - only postpone the reality of dealing with it.
It’s up to you, but we all started with the decision to put down the dope or the bottle, whatever it was, and then followed through. That is very difficult but not impossible, no matter what your situation. Talking Sober, AA, NA, Rational Recovery, Refuge Recovery and other programs can help you, if you want help. Blessings on your house as you begin your journey.
Heyy i wanted to add that when it comes to alcohol or drugs with a partner or husband or wife, when it comes to drugs and alcohol, co depence is a no go.
Im 60 days no weed today
I cant quit for good unless i do it for me. If i did it for my wife i might be able to posepone or stop for a month or 2 but id go back because id justify it for myself.
If i quit for me then i can keep my goals and reasons in mh mind easier because it’s for me, its myself and and goals and reasons
I cant quit weed for my wife
But
I can quit to be a better husband.
A lot but at the same time not in a way it’s gust I’m not the greatest at talking about my feelings or how I am feeling at that moment
So please don’t feel like I’m not caring about what you think or what you said because I do but like I said I’m gust not the best at it I’m still learning how to do all of that so please be patient with me
And thank you for responding to me and I hope your recovery is going along well as you want it to
Glad your ok …ok is ok😊 it’s a step up from despair and hell. Be kind to yourself and make the next right decision I hope your pain is better today ?xx
as you begin your journey.