Like a lot of other people, I made terrible decisions during my addiction. When I was drunk, my now ex endured the majority of my bad decisions. I treated him so poorly, saying the meanest things that I could (that were never even true). I feel like I turned into a monster and I feel absolutely terrible about the way I treated him.
I know regret is a natural thing that comes with getting sober, but since my last relapse, the regret has been more intense than ever.
Does anyone have any advice on how to live with the guilt? I’ll probably have to make a living amends with him, but the guilt is life long.
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My advice is to join a program and work the steps… amends will come in due time. Regret is totally useless when nothing is gained from it… We all have regrets, even “perfect” people have them, the question is what are you going to do with yours??? Best wishes to you… the sober path is the right path 
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Do what you need to do to stay sober. Whether its a recovery program, rehab, living on here…or a combination…living a sober life will heal you.
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Time has allowed me to start using my guilt and regret as a harsh reminder of where I never want to be again. I still feel them, but they aren’t crippling. Instead they push me forward. They keep me alert. They keep me determined. Determined to not add to them. Determined to not forget how shitty drinking makes me feel. I’ve said sorry to the people I want to, but none of that matters unless I change. So a little of that guilt and regret feels okay to me because it keeps me vigilant.
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Guilt is such an awful feeling. I experience it too. But its important to remember that we are in a diff place now. We are free of our addictions and making those living amends to those we hurt. Guilt truly serves no beneficial purpose in our recoveries. It doesnt do us any good to focus on things that we have already done. We can learn from our mistakes tho. All we have is today and just trying to do our best to be the best versions of ourselves and make better choices. I think (for me anyway), the feelings of guilt have lessened the longer i stay clean and do the next right thing 
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Thank you, that’s a beautiful outlook to have. I lol forward to be able to use the guilt as something to push me through my sobriety.
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I love the way that you put that! It’s inspirational to know that I’m not alone in these feelings and that I will get better with time.
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