Hey guys i hope its going good with yall(sorry if its bad English btw). I have some questions. lately i am feeling not the best because in always helping people trying to be there for everyone but i always get left out and yeah u smoke and vape and 1 friend only calls me when i have a vape i dont know if its just Chance or he only likes the vape and i wanna talk with my friends about it but i am scared so how do you guys deal with feeling left out?
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Welcome - and your English is great! No problem understanding.
I think this is a common experience when attempting to get sober. People from your “old life” will fall out of your new life. It was an inevitability in my experience.
I had to leave a handful of people out of my new life - they either stopped calling when I stopped drinking, or they kept trying to pull me back in. Can’t have that.
The beauty of it is that this opens the door for new, more authentic connections.
Good luck!
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what he said! 
There are people that don’t want to grow with us. So, they either leave us entirely or try to keep us in their image. Neither care for you as a person, rather a resource.
Part of my sobriety has been learning to love myself first and well enough to be okay alone. And, once I finally put my foot down, I found that I am not alone.
Grow, heal, and love yourself; defend your sobriety, even if it’s super sad leaving behind people you’ve cared for.
The ones that really matter will respect your boundaries and will grow with you.
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For me it is a balance, if there is something else going in the event, music or sport, etc, and the focus is that, I attend for that and if people drink or smoke that is their choice, I have my ginger ale and enjoy the entertainment, and can keep connections with those people. Gatherings for the sake of getting hammered or high only have no appeal and people just interested in that would become less and less a part of my life. Also it is good to put effort into finding events and friends that are totally separate from drinking / using, connected to whatever you are interested in.
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