Hallmark of somebody with addiction problems. Alcohol makes us believe we can’t cope without it. While the truth is alcohol (or any addictive substance) is actually the agent that makes us anxious, makes us turn in to ourselves, hide, repress, take flight, makes us hate ourselves, robs us of our self-esteem, self-worth, self-trust, our dignity.
I’m glad you’re here Brittany. We can’t fight this alone, we need each other. Together we can do this. IMHO AA is useful because it’s a community of peers helping each other. Luckily there are many more communities of folks helping each other (while helping themselves) these days. This place is my sober community. But there’s also Buddhist recovery, SMART (scientific, evidence based), and many more.
You might want to take a look at this thread:
Might be helpful. Welcome to this community anyhow, great to have you aboard!