oh. i’m sure a lot of ppl on here would want to give you a big hug and let you cry it out.
I can understand the feeling of overwhelm but I was never trusting enough to make a post about it. you are tho.
when I read your post I think to myself: this dude is on a good path. becuase you are supposed to have these breakdowns at your stage of sobriety, early. over the first few weeks and months, the illusions you’ve made about yourself and your life are slowly supposed to begin to show themselves as such. if you drank to deal w the fact that you’re actually unhappy and anxious and lonely feeling, now is exactly the time for these feelings to make it into consciousness, finally.
now, you’ve probably self-medicated for a good long time, I did too, so it was extremely hard for me to land in reality. it took a few years. according to my therapist, I’ve still not landed in some ways. so if this shit hurts, yes, you’re doing it right. accept it. cry. validate your own feelings, you have denied yourself that for a long long time.
being lonely sucks. anxiety sucks. and whatever it is that is making you so anxious probably sucks royally too.
you continue to do what you are doing and you add more: therapy, counselling, self help, whatever you can afford. and you begin building a life where you give yourself what you need. this is not done in a few weeks. but feeling your feelings and living in your reality is where it has to start. so you are doing awesome my friend. even if today is a hard day.
Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)
check out this thread.
much love.