How many days sober are you and what is your #1 tip for people if you could only give 1. I’ll go first.
I have 1137 days sober today and my best tip is work on your sobriety every single day. If that’s spending time here, going to meetings, reading sobriety literature, listening to sobriety podcasts whatever it is do it every day.
Honesty is #1. Deceit is part of the game of addiction. One must purge themselves of dishonesty.
Additionally, realize that you control you. Nothing can “make” you drink. You don’t have to go to any event you’re not comfortable attending. Dismiss threats to your sobriety - this includes people. Do right by yourself, help others, and tolerate no bullshit. Don’t waste time on excuses.
Easier said than done, but to quote the shitbags at Nike: “Just fuckin’ Do It”
My tip after 5 years: Embrace never and forever. Don’t let the finality and certainty of these concepts scare you, because fear is the thief of peace. When you say “I never want to feel this way again” understand deep in your soul that in order to make this desire true, you must forego that which curses you, forever.
Too many times I’ve read the following in an intro post: “I feel horrible and have really screwed things up. I know the answer is to be sober, but the idea of never again using [D.O.C] terrifies me”, I often think to myself that they have some falling to do before they will be ready, and I pray the hole they keep digging for themselves, isn’t a grave.
I got a sponsor and worked the steps. Single best thing I have done for my sobriety. By doing so you learn to work on sobriety daily, you learn how not to drink, you learn how to forgive yourself, you learn how to be forgiven, you clean up the wreckage of the past, you learn discipline, patience and dedication.
Number 1 tip…never give up, never surrender. It can take time to build sober muscles and fill up our sober toolbox. Each day we get a little stronger, we learn a little more along the way…all those baby steps DO matter and time is not lost…we learn and grow stronger (even if it may not feel like it). Never quit. You are stronger than you think.
There are too many to list. Serenity prayer, radical honest and acceptance, “not drinking today and probably not drinking tomorrow” (ODDAT thanks @Dazercat).
One thing that I see in chronic relapses, myself included, is inability to accept that alcohol is poison and I can’t drink. Once I did that, I changed my life radically, something that those with long term sobriety have done, and I built a sober community.
Our Recovery supersedes EVERYTHING tangible; family, spouses, children, pets, relationships, careers/jobs, boredom, isolation, loneliness, heartbreak, homelessness, prison/jail, STDs, guilt, shame, depression, death, new life, past, present, future-tripping, diet, gym, social media, The media, lust, race, culture, social-norms, food, water, sex, houses, cars, admiration from others, disappointment from others, your parents, your guardians, all strangers, the one that got away, the one you need to get away from, likes, dislikes, COMES SECOND to Our new Lives!!!
Acceptance - to me the most difficult thing was to explain to everybody why i changed. After having done this i stopped explaining. I had to accept that others might not accept. I stopped thinking about what others think. Now i am free and dont care anymore. That has helped me a lot
3.5 years in a day time. Put in the work. The work is done together. One day at a time. It’s a work of love while being an addict was a work of hate. To myself, to those I love and to the world at large. Life’s not easier sober but it’s endlessly better.
Take it one day at a time. Don’t make yourself anxious about how you’re going to manage to stay sober tomorrow or next week or next month. Just get through the day. Then tomorrow, get through that day. Then repeat. Eventually sobriety will become your new normal.
If, on day 1, you’re trying to figure out how you’re going to manage to stay sober for the next 10 years, you will probably be too overwhelmed to function. Just focus on today and keep on pushing through.
Im not even at a year right now but i do want to say that there is ALOT of wisdom in everyones posts here. This is like REAL recovery summed up in 1 thread lol i love it! Its really inspiring for me to see the sobriety time that everyone has. Thank you all for sharing.
This is a fantastic thread! So inspiring and so very real.
I’m just over a year sober, still finding my way in some situations. I appreciate the tip to work on it every day.
One thing that has been very powerful for me has been to accept that alcohol is a poison. My mindset is one of embracing the freedom that sobriety has brought me. I’m free of hangovers, headaches, anxiety and the persistent stress of managing the next round of drinks. I work on maintaining that mindset everyday by practicing gratitude and taking good care of myself and my sobriety.
I wish you all peace and I’m so grateful to learn from all of you.
3+ years …Working the AA program is my tip. Not just going to meetings but actually working the steps and being of service. AA has taught me how to live and function in this crazy world. I’ll continue to “practice these principles in all my affairs”.