Feeling like I’m drowning isn’t the funniest thing for me
Especially when I feel like im alone in the world I try and I try and it gust seems like it never ends
I try to communicate how I feel but it gust feels like I’m a burden to everyone around me
So I gust keep it bottled up inside I know it’s probably not the healthiest thing to do but to me it seems like the right thing to do
So that’s what I do I feel like if I didn’t exist life would gust be the same and probably a lot easier for everyone that has to put up with me
That thought goes through my head a lot lately
But I don’t do anything about it because I know in a way that would be selfish of me
But yet would it it gust seems at this moment drowning out my feelings with alcohol or something that wouldn’t make me feel my feelings anymore would be somewhat relieving but at the same time I know that’s not the thing to do so that’s why I’m reaching out to you guys
Because man oh man I’m really hurting right now I’d gust love for it all to stop
I can feel the pain in your words, and I can relate 100%.
So interesting, I just posted this meme on the mental health meme thread and I feel its very fitting for your post.
Doing this alone is so difficult, I also tried. My whole life I have been misunderstood by my parents, mismedicated by my Drs, even misdiagnosed… My whole life I masked because I was either too much or not enough. My whole life until now…
I pushed away the idea of joining a group of recovering addicts for so many years because I was full of judgement and fear. I was so used to finding the differences between myself and others that it was my go to game, and I was able to justify the shit out of staying clean “my way”, on my own. It didnt work.
5 years ago I was so desperate to find freedom I went to NA, and I immediately felt seen, heard and a true sense of compassion and empathy from the addicts who were recovering together. I fit in for the forst time. For the first time i didnt have to explain the crazy shit that happens in my head. For the first time I felt a part of.
My first sponsor handed me a piece of gold that I have held into since. Its simple, “choose your audience wisely” I dont share things with people who have no experience with what I need to talk about, and its made a huge difference in how my relationships look today.
Im sorry you feel that way, and I truly get it. Feeling alone in the world…I was never alone, it was my choices that were making me feel that way.
@Its_me_Stella THAT! For the first time I didn’t have to explain the crazy in my head and for the first time I felt part of something. When I stopped fighting it, that is what my first AA meeting did for me too. Every person who spoke said something that I had done, felt or thought and I finally had found my tribe.
I felt like I could breathe out, relax into my chair as I had come “home”.
