Heya, I’m 39 and have been an addict for the last 26 years. I’m at the point where I have so much regret and feel like I’ve wasted my life. No relationship, no children. And part of me somehow has this inner critic telling me that it’s too late to try and better my life. Does anybody else resonate with this?
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Yes, but it is completely incorrect. 39 is still young. You have half your life left to actually live it and be present. My sponsor told me of someone in one of her groups that got sober in her 60s and was totally devoted and grateful to her new path. 
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Thank you so much 
that’s a good point. I keep trying to tell myself that imagine if I leave it another 10 years.
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Hello.
Regrets are like resentments. Regrets and resentments were one of the things that kept me drinking. I had to make peace with my past. Once I did that, my life had purpose and became more fulfilling. In turn, sobriety and all the things that come with it fell into place.
I wasn’t as lucky as you. I didn’t start my journey until I was 55. Regrets-It would be nice to have those 16 years for a do over but….I accept who I was and what I did. That is all I have control over.
Don’t give up. Keep trudging along and it will get better. 
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The only time it’s too late to try and better yourself, is the day after your dead. 39 is really not that old. I don’t feel like I wasted any of my time here. I fucked up and wasn’t perfect by any means, but that’s just life. Imagine asking yourself this same question 10 or 20 years from now. We’re always gonna have our what ifs and regrets. No sense in prolonging them.
Welcome to the community
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Pass the grave yard plenty of people in there i knew who thought the same way, wish you well
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Yep. That “inner critic” is our alcoholic/addict voice. Our ego. The devil. Whatever you call it, it’s not of or from God.
Inside people like us, we possess this “voice” which basically ruins our lives and others’ lives and wants us to suffer and wants us dead.
Good news is there are ways to shut this voice up, talk back to it, repair the damage and live wonderful new lives. Are you willing to do whatever it takes?
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I feel better now. I’m 50 and just starting my sober journey. 
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Hi @Leelee2 welcome to the forum ,I’m a 44 year old female with 2 and a half months of sobriety. 39 is brilliant time to start yours. be grateful for the children you don’t have yet. I ruined enough of the years of my 10 year old daughter s life drinking and getting stoned which causes shed loads of guilt and suffering .your doing it the right way round !maybe you’ll have a partner and children in the future maybe you won’t. we need to work on ourselves and find out who we are before we let others in to our life .start today and read our recovery threads for tools of sobriety .I wish you a great future the keys to the kingdom are ours for the taking .life can be beautiful without drugs or alcohol 
I have no partner ,daughter on the weekend (my choice) and I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams from where I was day one can start here 
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I generally don’t like to hurl around quotes and sayings, but this one applies here -
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the 2nd best time is now.
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Hi Leesa,
I drank from age 10 to 45. It’s never too late and never too soon to get sober.
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55 years old and drank alcohol since I was in diapers, a lot starting at 10 years old. 9 months sober now. I don’t feel like even those 9 months feel wasted. I started trying three decades ago, took this long, and a really bad situation, to land me where I am. Every day counts.
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Never too late! 
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39 is young.
I only started figuring out who I was in mid 30s to 40s, and that’s when life began to get good… You might have spent 39 years travelling around the sun on this rock, but only a couple of those years are you a real grown adult. So once you look at it that way you’ve got many many more to go.
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Welcome… You have NOW that is it.
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