Today my family and partner has made me feel like such crap, I drank on Thursday and I have been judged and spoken to so bad that I just feel like giving up at this point, its too hard. I feel like I cant stop, I try fo a while but always fall back and maybe thats just how my life is… im done fighting , im tired and I feel so alone, why can others live without alcohol but not me… I feel so hurt and stupid.
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Dont give up ,you will get there if you put in the time and effort, i fell off the wagon 12 days ago after nearly 5 months ,but im determined im going to get this ,ive came to accept that i cant drink like anyone else ,but my drinking is not like anyone elses its always done by myself to oblivion, i dont want that i want to find a sense of normality, if that means drinking is not a part of my life i need to accept that, when you fall down just get back on it ,ive also had a hard time from family, but in the end they all supported me ,i know the only one that can do this is me ,we can do it
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Tasha! I really feel for you. My drinking affected my husband greatly. When I got drunk, I was not very nice. We had some terrible fights. Always followed the next morning with a “good talking to”. I felt judged and angry and thought he was an unreasonable hard ass, like why didn’t he get how hard this is for me? Well, guess what? He doesn’t have to get it, but I do. Do it, Tasha. Do the hard work. Your relationships will heal when you heal. You are worth it.
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This is not how (your) life has to be. We are here for each other. We all started with day 1. Alone it was impossible for me. There is a way out of your prison. Read around here, maybe try online or f2f meetings with other sober people to learn and see that it is possible. 
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The only way we learn anything is through failure. When I learned to ride a bike, I fell down and skinned my knee. My family.members all picked on me and said I would never learn. My neighbor’s sister helped me learn. She was gentle and kind. I learned to ride my bike like a champ.
I forgot stories like that over the years. I now realize that I should surround myself by people who love me for who I am, faults and all.
I always remind myself one day at a time. I haveanalternate activity ready to go if I want to indulge one of my addictions. I support you and wish you luck.
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I deal with the same thing. I was not nice when I failed. It causes problems and it’s made he hate drinking. It has filled me with such determination. I have been told
I am a loser and everything else. We do indeed learn through failure.
Here we all appreciate you, we want you here! stay strong. I have to accept that I can’t control what others think about me. They are going to think what they think. I can’t control them and I can only control me. I thought I had to control all these things. I can’t control these things.
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Hey Tasha, big hug to you, i too know how that feels…my mother used to think she could shame me into stopping drinking and it made me feel even more worthless than i already did, it did me no favours whatsoever…when i did get sober i felt like i had to fight her aswell as this disease but i did it, i know how u feel but please know that you can beat this it can be done, my love to you 