Feel abit lost and upset. 55 days abstinent. Not sleeping. I drank cos i am unhappy and now i dont have that buffer.
I left a abusive husband of 19 yrs four years ago and lost my children to him. Havent seen them since. I live on my own.
I go to Smart meeting once a week but dont feel accepted by half the people don’t know why or what i have said wrong and know i sound childish .Try and avoid their whatsapp group as been lots of relapses on there that worry me, for them, as people are in dangerous situations. One member went out at midnight the other night looking for another member…couldnt find her. Its alot. And i know shouldnt effect me.
I drank as a buffer for uncomfortable feelings as well. I think many here did. But at the end I drank with any feeling, good and bad.
I had to reinvent myself. Who was I without drinking? And how to cope with my feelings?
At first venting helped me a lot. So I came here to just do that (and so did you ).
And I tried to find new coping strategies, a plan B so to speak.
It turned oid that walking helped me, as well as chocolat. So I used that when I feeled uncomfortable in my skin and got cravings.
You are building on a new live and such changes are massive for all of us. Mentally and physically.
So give yourself some slack and try to focus on you instead of others. It’s good to help others if you can, I try to do that here as well. But it may not jeopardize your own sobriaty.
Good of you to go to the meetings!
You are not alone in this, we are here and if half of all the people from Smart is accepted you that means you are not alone (and I think that is even more because if you are a bit like me you are talking yourself down in this one )
You previously probably had a life centered around your addiction and the drama involved in that. Now that center is gone. And that does feel unstable, shaky and one does feel lost. That is totally normal. Everone going through such a massive change feels lost.
The old life prooved unsustainable. So you decided to be abstinent. But abstinence at first only means that you stop doing something. And that leaves a void. You have to fill that void with something else, something better. What do you want to be at the center of your new life?
How do you create a good life for yourself? By creating good days. What can you do TODAY to make it good? Are there things that come to mind you might want to get done? Ways you could take care of yourself - most addicts are not good at that? Things you’d like the new you to try out?
Build the new life, the new you one day at a time. Start with something small, something that feels doable. And come back and share
Just feeling lonely and low which isnt new but i am more aware i guess. Just spoke to support guy at turning point and he asked if i had considered training to be a peer mentor. I am also enrolled to start a art course next month.
Maybe i am just getting ahead of myself and need to just focus on today again.
I don’t have any words of wisdom to add but I do know that you are not alone. If you are here, we got you.
You’re in a great place with your meetings and this group, that’s a great start and keep focusing on you. I think it’s amazing how, from what I’ve read here and heard how things have a way of falling into place the further down this trail you travel.
Be patient (a skill I am still working on) and take things ODAAT. You’ve got this!
Have you tried going to any meetings in person? That tends to be super helpful when you’re feeling lonely and need to get out of your head…you can meet new people maybe make some friends that are on this journey,. Online is big but sometimes we need that interpersonal human interaction when we feel like this.
Thank you. I do a meeting in person on mondays just dislike the group chat online connected to that meeting. May just go to the face and delete the whatsapp chat as makes me anxious . Am empathetic generally and it gets too much somwtimes especially regafding relapses.xxxx
).
)
