I recently relapsed and it was/is a nightmare. My body feels like it is completely ruined, my relationships are strained beyond the point of repair. I have pushed away everyone I love, or anyone willing to love me. I feel truly lost.
8 Likes
Dude I know that feeling so well. I burnt a ton of bridges drinking, and then beat the hell out of the relationships that were most important to me with relapse after relapse. I finally woke up, went to rehab and got my shit together. You’re relationships most times will repair themselves on their own in time, if you do the right thing and put in the work day after day. Don’t even talk about it, just do it, and things will work out as they should.
Welcome to the community Dylan 
4 Likes
Thanks man, I’m choking back tears thinking about all the things I’ve wasted. But, you’re right it’s time to put the work in and remain hopeful for a future with me still in it.
5 Likes
Just about everybody on here has been, or is where you are now. Spend some time talking to them and lean on them for support. Go one day at a time and you’ll be where they are in no time
3 Likes
This is the first time I’m reaching out and trying to be part of a community. Of the 7 years I’ve been trying to get clean by myself, I have had maybe 9 months of actual clean time. I end up hating myself and falling into this cycle of despair where I punish myself with alcohol poisoning. The isolation I have put myself in over the last few years has taken its toll on my mental health. I just feel like this time needs to be different. I have so much to live for and it all becomes meaningless the moment I pick up. Thanks for the kind words and welcome, I really need it right now.
4 Likes
Welcome Dylan. I have felt those same exact feelings and the good news is you don’t have to feel that way again. You have some experience at staying sober so you know it’s possible. Like @Jasty2 said go one day at a time and build on that. Good luck to you 
4 Likes
Hello Dylan 
This community is what made the difference to me in my recovery so keep reaching out and talking, yes its down to you to put the work in but we are here to support you every step of the way, you are so welcome here friend 
2 Likes
Hi Dylan and welcome!
Hpw many day did you have before the relapse?
Those days are not gone, they learned you a lot as well as you did not poison your body and mind in those days. I had a few relapses myself. The hardest one was the one after 5 years of sober time. I pulled myself uit of that funk with the help of this app and the tools I’ve learned in those sober stretch before the relapse.
So again welcome in your new sober tribe!
Be one of our sober buddies! 
1 Like
Hey Dylan, nine months was a lot, you learned the trick there and also remember how much clean energy you had in the morning. Go back to that feeling and stuck. Don’t punish yourself, instead give yourself the gift of life you really deserve!
1 Like
He Dylan! Inhave been promising to quit and relapsing over the past 15 years. Being sober never lasted longer than a couple of days, a day or two. I.too have lost my Most important relationships, my marriage, my true love. Inhave isolated myself completely and endet up alone, beside my Kids. But No friends, no social contacts. Inhave started writing down all the situations that Trigger me into drinking. That is:
Friday after Work
Saturday
Holidays
Sunny weather
Kids away
Staying in Home Office
Eating out
Having a visit over
…and many many more…
I have always thought, i cannot Control it. I cannot Control drinking, but i can Control the triggers. And my reactions upon being triggered. Just knowing that my addicted mind is playing a trick on me and looking for excuses to Drink, helped me realize, that i can control it, embrace it and accept, whats happening right now. Very consiously.
Sometimes i treat that persisent urge as a good old friend. I mean its a large part of myself, the longest companion.
I Sometimes talk to that wicked beast in my head when when it strickes with a Trigger, saying hey buddy, oh its you again…how have you been? I know youre upset, but now i am in charge, you had your shot and caused so much trouble…perhaps it Sound crazy, but it helped me. Not rejecting any Part of myself, but embracing with Love and compassion.
1 Like
Sorry guys foe all the misspellings, im in germany and rhebauto correctiin ist Just taking over 
2 Likes
Auto correction