Hello all. So today is my first sober day. I’ve tried to stop drinking before but then I end up convincing myself that I can control it. But clearly I can’t. I’ve done and said terrible things while under the influence, and the guilt and shame and anxiety is crushing me right now. How do you keep your head up and not become overwhelmed by all the bad feelings?
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Try a meeting. Hearing that you’re not alone and alcoholism is a disease is something that hits different in a meeting. You got this. Apologize accept responsibility and find your higher power.
What works for me is not dwelling on what I have done but what I can do to right my wrongs. You’re a person. So is everyone else. Wish you well.
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Shame is a hard feeling. But we have to face it.
We feel shame because we’ve done something we know we shouldn’t do. The only way out is to do the work to change.
There’s a lot of ways to do it: sobriety groups, Talking Sober, daily rigorous martial arts, or combinations of these and more are ways people here have done it.
It fades in time, as you take charge of yourself (instead of letting something else have charge of you). As you gain perspective and confidence, and as you start to do meaningful things - create meaning and change in life - you change from shame to humility and confidence.
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Im sorry to hear that ! Don’t be too hard on yourself ! Learn from your mistakes and grow from them but don’t let the mistakes stop you from progressing.
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Hi Sara,
It’s easy to fall into this mindset of blaming yourself for what you have done and said whilst under the influence.
I don’t know any tricks etc to make that go away, your conscience will be controlled by your actions, however you can start with the knowledge that you are taking steps to make sure that you don’t do or say anything bad again. Take solace in your actions to become a better version of yourself.
The past is like a bruise, it may hurt but it doesn’t matter how you got it because there’s nothing you can do to change it now!
Make peace with yourself about your past and use it as fuel to burn your fire for your new sober future!
I’m Always happy to help if you need someone to talk to etc.
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Welcome back Sara.
Todays a great day to start your sober life again.
Asking for help and swallowing my pride and actually feeling my feelings and sharing them frequently has helped me a lot. And a lot of tears.
Stick around. Use us.
Meetings are good.
I hope to see you around.
Advice for new comers and constant relapsers
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Hi Sara, I’m glad to see you’re back. You’ve already been given some great advice from others, and the only thing I would add is that we all feel guilt and shame from things we’ve said and done while drinking. Just know that you’re not alone here. I want to share a quote with you that I try to keep in mind every day. We have to keep adding goodness to our lives to be able to overcome the anguish. 
“The past is our definition. We may strive with good reason to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it. But we will escape it only by adding something better to it.” - Wendell Berry
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Try a meeting might help with those voices saying another one wont hurt wish you well
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