Last night was a candle light vigil for a very good friend who passed away two weeks ago. I decided not to go because all or nearly all of his friends are meth addicts and I didn’t want to be in that crowd even though it’s not my drug of choice.
I just couldn’t see myself being there. I figured I would remember him my own way.
Still feel weird not going though. And I’m still in the sort of stunned feeling, like I can’t believe he’s gone. 
Not sure why I posted. Just felt like talking about it.
14 Likes
Sorry about your pal, life gets a little more real when that happens.
Glad you posted, espress yourself
3 Likes
I know what your going thru. 3 weeks ago my closest childhood friend was killed in a wreck. He was about 2 miles from home. I’ve been keeping to myself mostly. I’m still working things out too. I didn’t think I could get thru it without a drink but I did. Even when I felt like I was drowning in grief. Remember your friend in little ways, healthy ways. Thinking of you Mark 
7 Likes
I’m sorry for your loss Mark. Feel the grief, feel whatever is there. You’ll always remember him and be grateful for the friend you had. Wishing you stenght during these sad times.
4 Likes
Good you’re feeling Mark. Sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing. It helps. All of us. Including you I hope.
5 Likes
That would probably mean more than anything else. We all grieve differently, we all memorialize differently. You did it your way, and that is what counts.
6 Likes
Sorry about your friend.
You looked out for number 1 in this situation and I think thats awesome!
Im not a funeral guy myself. Ever since my grandmother passed away when I was 12. Seeing her in the casket is my last memory of her. Since then I refuse to look at loved ones in that place. I prefer to celebrate their life in other ways.
I think being true to yourself honors your friend passing much better than being around other people who are going to get loaded.
4 Likes
Thank you to all! 
I’m surprised that I really haven’t had much temptation to drink. I did on the first day; I heard about his death 4 hours before I had to be at work. A friend talked me into going in to work.
“If you call in tonight, you’ll likely end up drinking”, she told me. Good advice.
Aside from a couple of dreams, I’m hanging in there! I’d like to know more details, but I’d have to talk to his roommate, and we don’t get along too well. 
3 Likes
Strange what will trigger me. Here I am, processing my friend’s death without resorting to alcohol, when something hits me out of left field.
I go to buy some stuff for my apartment and there’s nothing in my bank account! 
I had gotten a letter day before yesterday from a bill collector for the court (years old drunk in public.) They skipped over the usual process, went straight to garnishment, and emptied out my account.
Is that even legal?
I’ll get through this too, I just felt like a shot and a beer immediately even though it’s far from the worst thing that’s happened lately.
1 Like
Old habits die hard. I think its normal for us to have those thoughts. Its not normal for us not to act upon them.
I cant count how many times I drank over a bad day or bad events or at people. Id be cursing them pounding beers.
Remember this day! It shows awesome growth and how important recovery is to you! 
Thanks for sharing!
Im not sure about the legalities of it. It seems pretty harsh. At least its behind you now. Another step towards freedom!
1 Like
I would check with the authorities. It doesn’t sound to me like they should be able to do that.