I wrote on here recently about my new job and how it’s a much better environment and it is I have people i can talk to and ask questions about recovery even some that feel silly like about my nails growing I’m so fascinated, my eyelashes are so full I just love it🤣 all that to say I’ve felt so vulnerable as well , for awhile this older gentleman at my new job would call me beautiful the usual stuff than it felt weird he noticed i wasn’t at work and of course I said I just recently got sober so I stayed home especially having days where sleep is sporadic suddenly his touching my coat asking personal questions like was I married or single and as a woman I put on the usual facade entertaining it because I felt i couldn’t exactly speak up like entire anxiety and I took that as a sign from my body I don’t need to continue talking to this guy and of course I told my supervisor who took care of it but I feel even more vulnerable in sobriety can anyone relate or understand?!
Unwanted and unasked for attention definitely can push some buttons, especially anxiety and wanting ‘to be nice.’ I am sorry you had that experience and am really glad you have your boundaries and strength to go to your supervisor …and that your supervisor did their job and handled it. For many people, especially of the older generation, this is ‘the way it has always been’ and until some people are told that unasked for attention is indeed unasked for and not cool, they may not understand that. That is not an excuse whatsoever.
Anyway, yes, I disliked it way back when and still dislike it now. And yes, it often makes me anxious to set my boundaries, but it is necessary to speak up.
For myself, sobriety definitely opened up my vulnerable feelings…and also allows me to feel and express more of my voice.
You did great protecting and caring for your self.
Thank you sassyrocks. I even spoke that my recovery was truly so much more important than any single thing and it seemed he could tell how vulnerable I felt and by the looks in his eyes he didn’t care and before I spoke to my supervisor he was gonna speak to me again and I had a literal anxiety attack and thought pls go the f away thankfully he has stayed away and my anxiety went way down
I’m sorry you had that experience and glad you spoke up.
I felt very vulnerable in early sobriety and had similar experiences. I didn’t know how to set boundaries at all but going to women only AA meetings regularly with an open mind changed my perspective completely. Those ladies taught me how to stand up for myself and I’m forever grateful. I think back to my first 6 months of sobriety and can’t believe how I let people treat me. I sometimes still lack in the boundary department but my ladies quickly get me back on track.
Glad your anxiety is feeling more manageable. Is it a situation where you can get outside for a little walk or maybe just gaze out a window and breath for a bit? That helps me a lot.
I am really glad you are so skilled at your boundaries, that is such a positive trait to possess.
3 months in and I’ve felt all the emotions I still have so much to learn like anyone else but I knew I didn’t deserve the kinda attention that made me feel overwhelmed or forced me to feel like I had to quit a job that is actually helping get back on my feet and the reason I took this job was to have an income to help me get caught up and just truly be able to focus on my sobriety.