I’ve been half heartedly trying to quit drinking for a while, while I tried to figure out what it is that I really wanted (fully getting sober vs just cutting back.) As it turns out, I can’t just cut back, it never works and I end up drinking way too much.
Long story short, I went to a local festival last night and had 3 glasses of wine before we even went, drank I don’t know how many beers there, was too drunk to even use my Uber app so my sister had to take me home, and ended up falling down the stairs inside my home.
I’m lucky I didn’t break anything or hit my head. I played it off to my husband that I just missed a step. I honestly don’t even know what happened.
That was the 1st thing I remembered this morning. I fell down the fucking stairs because I was a drunken mess. It made me so angry.
I’m angry for the amount of money I waste on drinking and the time I waste too.
I think falling down the stairs is the push I needed. Enough is enough. Enough with the excuses and enough with the “I’ll stop after this next event.” I’m tired of getting so drunk at said events that I don’t remember them the next day anyways.
Hi Jen, I am also Jen 
Welcome to the first step (pun unintended but still kinda funny) I’m pretty new too. Only 30 days sober. I check the app multiple times per day. Keeps me motivated. Found replacement hobbies/ drinks.
I fell into a bush at an after party at a co-workers house because I was too drunk to take the advice of my friend and take my high heels off lol. Texted her the next morning asking her why I had so much tree in my hair.
Sometimes it takes falling to get the strength to realize you need to pull yourself up.
Ive fallen down the stairs, made it halfway up and passed out and was awoken by my kids, and many a times didn’t even attempt to make the journey up the stairs hahaha.
I’m happy to hear that you’ve made your realization that absolute sobriety is your best and truly only option. Takes us a long time to come that conclusion unfortunately.
What have you tried doing before to get and stay sober? Any action programs? Therapy? Got a sober support network, or at least people who know you’re trying to get sober?
Getting sober is the easy part, I did it a hundred times following a bender that resulted in pain, humiliation or guilt. Its the staying sober that’s the hard part, learning to live in your own skin without the booze.
Hope to see you around, use the board often. Develope some friends around here.
No I haven’t tried much in the way of programs or anything other than self help books and this app.
I thought I could just quietly stop drinking and not tell anyone but I plan to talk to my husband today.
He doesn’t think I have a problem because I don’t drink every day and thinks I can just cut back. But he doesn’t understand the alcoholic brain either.
That’s a great start, it does a lot for us when we can let it out and be known. Unfortunately he probably won’t understand too much about it, as @Yoda-Stevie put it so eloquently people who’ve chewed the same dirt understand a lot better than those who haven’t.
When I got sober a few years ago, I knew I was in deep, that I was an alcoholic, my wife however wasn’t there and didn’t think I was. I worked a program, attended an IOP and had 6 months of sobriety. Started drinking again after hurting my shoulder playing ball and getting into the usual mindset of maybe I can drink responsibly, or at least control my drinking. Failed miserably. I am back to 6 months sober after a 4 year relapse and constantly work on myself and my feelings. I see a therapist, a couples therapist and still go to meetings at times.
Life’s much better this time around sober, much more fulfilling and not nearly as full of white knuckles and anger. We get better 1 day at a time, and I know King Alcohol would gladly refund all the misery and hate I missed out on these last 6 months if I were to “confide” in him.
Keep struggling, keep trying. Lots of support here, use us. Read, relate, share. Sobriety is a team sport, and when we all work together we win.