“I thank God upon every remembrance of you”
I have been on fight or flight since my little brother passed away on September 5th at 2:50am. I’m here and I’m sober and that’s really all I have right now.
Was reminded of a memory today of my brother, and when I remembered it, it was like a gut punch, and I just sat and cried, and just thought about all that was gained through his life and lost through his death.
Whenever my brother would introduce me to someone new, he would wrap an arm around me, his classic side hug and say this is “little” big sis and then he’d put his fist by his heart and kinda thump it a little and he’d say she’s my heart. This is my heart right here. Love you sis… I just can’t comprehend that I’ll never hear that again. I can’t grasp that he’s truly gone no matter how hard I try. How I’m remaining sober is a miracle, literally.
I just keep trying to remind myself that despite what it’s revealed so far, life is good. Yes, people die. Yes, relationships break apart. Yes, hearts will forever get broken. Life no doubt deals some tough blows. But none of that matters really. There is still so much beauty left to be experienced on this path, beauty that we all deserve to witness. Beauty Jake would want me to hold onto with tightly clinched fists. I hope I can remember that and grab life by the horns. I hope I can live like Jacob always hoped he could but was never quite able to fully do.
Jacob Gerald Gabaldon taught me the importance of kindness, the strength of courage, and the value of living each day. His life was a testament to the belief that what matters most is not how much we have, but how much we give. Not the magnitude of our achievements, but the depth of our relationships. Not the loudness of our words, but the sincerity of our actions. Out of all the brothers in the world, he was mine. It was an honor to be his sister. I’ll miss our talks and silly adventures. I’ll miss singing Stevie Nicks in the car together. But most of all, I will miss our friendship. Thank you for being my bubba and my best friend.
And hey, give Dan a hug for us down here❤️
With more love than you could know,
Your Big Sister.
