Here I am … again… I have to say that media and gaming addiction have really messed up my life. So often i tried to quit/reduce now. I cant count it anymore.
Yesterday I was at such a low point. Gaming, scrolling, watching youtube for the entire day, only interrupted by showering, brushing my teeth, an office meeting and ordering pizza. Not working, im so behind with my tasks, its crazy, i dont know how i will catch up. This addiction has basically stolen my 20s already and if i continue it will cost me my job, family, friends,… everything.
Luckily from previous attempts i know what to do. I have a time lock box set up for my laptop. I have put it there yesterday evening. I switched my phone to black and white, put the app restrictions back on and uninstalled instagram, reddit and the board games app I use. I called the local addiction counseling office and have an appointment next week. I hope they can recommend some therapists and support groups. Im back here. Today I will try one thing. If I cant get myself to do my office work and feek myself drawn to the phone to do whatever im still allowing myself to do I want to speak out loud what i am going to do for the next 5 minutes.
Tomorrow I will come back here to tell you guys whether I actually did it and how it went.
I want to live. Here. In the real world. Actively. Even if its painful.