After 14 times in treatment, i am finally actually running a program. Being sober is weird. What did it take for you guys to actually start really putting effort in to recovery?
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For me it was the realisation my using was slowly but surely -and it was getting ever faster- leading me to suicide. Congrats on being sober Kyle and welcome to the forum! Awesome place for support.
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Thank you, this forum seems pretty cool.
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The realization that my best thinking always without fail got me drunk, whether it was a week or 18 months I ended up back in a place worse than I left. The day someone said to me ‘Your not alone anymore and you don’t have to think anymore, all you have to do is listen and be willing to do anything’ it was such a relief.
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My reasoning was the same as @Mno. I had to make a change or I was going to put myself into an early grave by my own hand. I’m happy to have found this place. I hope you stick around with us, Kyle!! Welcome!
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Thank all of you for the kind words. I too had a few suicide attempt’s, shits no joke.
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Hi Kyle, and welcome to Talking Sober!
What happened for me is that I finally surrendered to the idea of sobriety. No matter how crappy my life has turned, I had always believed that drinking would make it better or tolerable at least. And at the end, I knew drinking wasn’t going to improve anything but I had fully surrendered to it. The concept of sobriety frightened me, I was sure I would never have fun again. Massive hangovers and getting arrested was apparently my idea of fun at the time, I guess. I was sure sobriety would be an endless procession of gray dull days, filed with boredom and regret. Part of my spiritual awakening (a slow event that started the moment I took my last swallow and continues to today) was that I stopped caring what life would be like without booze. I just wanted to stop. Desperately wanted to stop. I knew I could not stop on my own, so I took the help I was given and sought out even more assistance. All without a clear idea, or even a vague one, about what sobriety would mean.
I had faith, with no evidence, that everything was going to be alright. And it has been for a long time now. I still have that faith today. No matter what happens in my life, I’m gong to be okay and it’s going to be alright. 
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Took my kids being put into foster care. Hated it, no control, at the mercy of others… turns out it was just what the doctor ordered, been about 40 months since my last drink or drug.
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The realization that if I didn’t quit alcohol I would either end up homeless, in prison, or dead much sooner than later. Then a had the realization that I can live my life one of two ways, the first is as a recovering alcoholic in an uphill battle with alcoholism towards success, fullfillment, and true happiness, or as an active alcoholic in a downward spiral into an abyss of self hate, sadness, and suicidal thoughts with no hope for the future. I’m choosing the first one and for first time in my life I’m 100% sure that never want to drink alcohol ever again. Everybody’s recovery story is different, some similar of course, but no 2 will ever be exactly the same, you just gotta find your way and find what works for you. One day at a time
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