I had a bad month I was having so many anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns that I literally wanted to die. I was feeling like I was literally dying 24/7. p.s I wouldn’t hurt myself, because I gotta prove my father wrong and show him I can take care of myself lol.
My last two post I made were when I was feeling hopeless and not knowing what to do about the constant anxiety and pain. And I’m just happy that feeling it gone. I’m moving out of my house soon and that will definitely help with my mental health. I like to think of myself as a strong person but I feel like after all these years I’m worn down I don’t have a stable brain anymore and I became mentally sick. It like when you talk bad to a plant that it will slowly start dying. Anyways I’m so great full that I’m stable now and it’s amazing, before I didn’t feel like me it was almost as if I was being physically hurt because I couldn’t stand the constant pain from anxiety attacks, stress, and mental breakdowns. I literally hate myself and my body for not being in control. I was on the verge of submitting myself to a mental hospital because I didn’t want to end up giving up.
But anyways I’m just posting this as a kinda update for myself and whoever’s interested.
Today I woke up having a full blown panic attack that lasted for hours and obviously this is the perfect time for my father to pick a fight with me because I said Im moving out for university. Anyways I smoke a little weed to see if it would help with my anxiety after two puffs it was gone and I didn’t want to get actually high but wanted to relaxation. I might buy CBD tablets maybe to help me with anxiety attacks. I haven’t smoked in a while I use to just smoke to help me sleep and with my chronic back pain(I know I’m only 19 but I fractured my back in 7 different spots when I was 16 and my back never healed correctly) lol
Anyways anyone that has posted nice comments on my past 2 post thank you so much you helped me push and stay strong. It really matters what you say to people so thank you everyone for being so supportive I love posting on this platform because I don’t feel so alone and I know there’s good people out there. Also IM ALMOST 7 months sober so excited 
lol sorry I’m just proud of myself thank you everyone again
