Not sure if this is right place but you guys are so bloody helpful i thought id try my luck 
so im useless with dealing with money like paying bills and such, think its cause i prioritised other things for so long and now im trying to reverse that. So does anyone have any tips or links maybe to advice i could use ? Think if i can get that under control it would ease my mind and lesson the strain. Many thanks 
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I was never good with finances, my wife pretty much took care of it, but she wasn’t good either, just good enough to keep us out of trouble, sort of. So, I decided to jump in head first and help out.
What helped me was to make a spreadsheet. It helped to layout what was coming in, and what was going out.
First put in my incomes.
Then I put in all of my monthly expenses:
Untilities
Mortgage
Car
Insurances
Phone
Cable/internet, etc.
Then put in my debt:
Credit cards
Loans, etc.
For each credit card, I put in the intrest rates and current balance along with monthly payments and calculated how long it would take to pay them off. This helped to optimize payment across multiple cards to get paid off as quickly as possible.
Then… created a plan to save X amount over the next 12 months.
The idea is that every month, I update the numbers and see where I am on the goal and adjust as needed.
It was going well until my wife lost her job, totalled her car and we had a death in the family… but the spreadsheet still exists and will be there when I am ready to pick it up again.
None the less, it was a good exercise in understanding our finances.
Good luck!
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Thanks i will give it a go , yeah i was the same i let my wife do it all then before we separated i learned how bad our financial situation was , wasnt all my fault but made me feel like a child as i hadnt a clue what was happening and hadnt shared the burden. My wife said she knew how i got with stress and worry ie hit the booze which wasnt a nice feeling either.
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Hey @Acehope
Completely agree with @HoofHearted. Set up the spreadsheet with all ingoings / outgoings / debts.
If you have any credit card debt move it (or as much as you can) to an interest free card. As @HoofHearted says, prioritise addressing anything with higher interest rates so you’re not incurring additional costs.
Make a plan. One that gives you some flexibility.
You can do this x
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I am tracking all expenses via an app. All bills are paid automatically.
So over the months I’ll get quite a good overview where all the money goes category wise.
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Hi Chris
Well, I’m pretty good with finances so I thought I’d reply…
All I can offer is what I do. Does not mean it will be suitable for you, but maybe you’ll find something in it what could help
It’s quite simple system. It’s nothing else than receive the salary and before doing any spending I pay my bills first. I put on the side what I need to pay all my bills or any other responsibilities (like shoppings, petrol, etc.). From the rest I put most of it to a saving or investment account to gain some interest on it and I also keep something to spend in case I go out for a coffee and similar stuff.
I’m not a big spender. I don’t go to eat out a lot or I don’t shop make up or clothes every month. Me and my partner are saving for a house and we love going abroad so that’s what we spend the most money for.
But we never buy anything we can’t afford. If it would happen and I would have no money to go for holiday I’d rather stay at home than to borrow money elsewhere. I hate debts, they’re scaring me. Maybe because my mum never had enough money when me and my brother were children and so I know how such life looks like. I was always wealthy since I start working because the financial situation at my home taught me to save money and always have some reserve.
Hope my simple advice will help you.
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Pay small recurring bills as soon as they come so you can cross them off the list of things that are owed.
Next make a list off all the debts you have, it helped me to list them from smallest to largest. Then start paying them off smallest to largest. Once you have paid a few down start tackling debts with higher interest rates.
Once you are more comfortable debt wise start saving.
My finances have been garbage many times. I have pulled myself out of $30,000 of credit card debt not once but twice. Now my finances are headed towards good.
Also, read everything you can on finances. I never thought I would be a person who reads finance books for fun but here I am. Happily on my way to a good amount of savings. Get after it!!
Edited to say recently I have been trying to embrace the idea that you should not budget for things you love and spend less on things you don’t love. I love books and food so I do not create a budget around those two things, I spend what I want within reason on those. I am trying to get rid of things I don’t use so much like home decor and clothes so I am restrictive in those areas.
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Hey Chris, I don’t know where you live, but in the UK the Open University offers a free online course ‘managing my money for young adults’.
It’s aimed at students to gain money skills before they leave for university, but I think it’s never to late to gain those skills.
Barclays, NatWest etc also have resources on their websites on how to budget on weekly or monthly basis. Look for resources for students or young adults, it seems the world just assumes that adults know how to handle the pennies correctly 
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Thanks am uk based 
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Hi. What I did was 1) what I get in. 2) wrote down all my expenses 3) set all utilities up on a regular payment (not necc the full amount needed 4) allowed some slack to buy things I wanted 5) set up a starling bank account on the app and created spaces on that for savings eg holiday spending or car service
God knows where the money went or how I was paying things when I was drinking
What I’m doing now can feel a little dull but I never get a bill which frightens the life out of me.
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Hi @Acehope,
I’m IShell. My husband says I can squeeze the buffalo off the nickel!
Financial sobriety is a #1 goal, because we spent most of what our prioritize money on our Addiction.
#1 Start by writing down all your monthly bills (in due date order)
#2. Prioritize your spending by needs, wants, and love. (I.E. You need food, want new shoes, love ice cream)
#3 Start small with your back-up plan of savings. Even if it’s $20 start putting that away and never think about it again. (You can even call it Emergency savings)
#4. Do NOT Lend, Borrow, or anything to people who won’t pay you back in a timely manner.
#5 If you want to save in a bank, make sure they have interest returns or match savings. If you save $500 they can return on 10% of $50.
Hope this helps and Good Luck.
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There’s some great ideas on here I can also recommend getting two debit card accounts. I have one that my wages got into and all the payments go out off and another where I transfer my spending money into. It’s easy to simply keep tabs on that account and see exactly what’s left to spend.
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