Whatever you want to call it, I have an obsessive or addictive part of my personality. I tend to go all in (some would say overboard) on whatever I do. When I was drinking, it tended to focus either entirely on drinking (or getting ready to drink) or on cramming in everything else (work, family), so I could get back to drinking.
In the first weeks of my sobriety, I find myself transferring that obsessive behavior to other areas of my life, including my recovery. I am also struggling to figure out a work-life balance because while I was drinking, work was the only consistent thing in my life. Now, other than staying sober, Iām not sure what I want my life to be. Previously, alcohol substituted as a life for me.
Unlike others, I am not bored. Iām feeling drawn in a dozen different directions at once, like thereās so much to do, so many possibilities. Iām feeling unbalanced because the life side of things has been vacant for so long.
I realize some obsessions are healthier than others. Itās not a life-or-death problem, but I am a bit anxious about the uncertainty and was wondering if others have felt the same way?
Hey Trey.
Itās been nice to have you aboard.
I can totally relate to your first paragraph up there. That was me too.
Wish I could help you out on that last bit.
Afraid I got nothing there for ya.
I am retired for what thatās worth. Iām having a hard time just living in the moment. Iām always thinking I āshould,ā be doing this, or I āshould,ā be doing that. I āshould,ā all over myself. And I find it hard to do just one thing at a time. Iām always doing 2 or 3 things at once.
Anywayā¦. Iām working hard at keeping myself in the moment and not worrying about what I got to do later. And especially not worry about what I āshould,ā be doing. Itās hard for me. I do a lot of gratitude work. Especially in the gratitude thread and when Iām walking or just out doing most anything. Just stopping and smelling the roses. Listing to the birdsong. Being with my grandson or pets.
Sorry I donāt think I was much help. But at least I got you a bump back up to the top. And who knows maybe you can use something here.
Hi Trey, this post resonated with me so much. I also feel like I have so much I want to do now Iām sober. Itās a new and exciting feeling to have time and energy to enjoy life and I have a million thoughts on what I want to do then I get overwhelmed. Iām not sure of the answer and I may be rambling on 
I think making a plan of things I want to do (I love a list!) may be the answer to keep focused?
Not sure if this was any help but youāre not alone 
Ah, see. Iāve been feeling the exact opposite lately! Iāve definitely learned how to live in the moment, but I donāt think Iām doing it right 
Almost like Iām too good at living in the moment and not thinking about the future at all 
There actually are things I should be doing, but if Iām not doing them in āthe momentā, I donāt think about them. When is their moment going to come? At least Iām not thinking about the past anymore, I guess 
Sorry for not helping the topic @TS66 
but Iām a bit stuck here myself.
Iām with Eric here, Iāve got nothing either. But I put this topic on my watch list, because if someone does have an answer or a cure for this constant feeling of uncertainty: I want in!
That is so me. All the day. Every day. I also find it hard to live in the moment. Live ODAAT. But maybe that awareness of balance struggle is just that: your ongoing work at sobriety? Just imagine sobriety as a yoga pose. You finally managed to get into the pose and hold it without falling over. Now your core muscles work nonstop to keep you in the pose. You have to counteract the wobble to keep your balance. Your sobriety muscles are also at work nonstop. When you exercise them with active recovery work like meetings, writing your journal, gratitude work, quit lit, etc. But they also work behind the scenes, like your core muscles in yoga. It looks steady from the outside, but the uncertainty is real.
So, thatās my take on it. I would suggest: embrace it. This is you. Not numbed up. Just you, sober in this world. Step back from the feeling and acknowledge your successes. Try mindfulness, try to be in the moment. And remember: sobriety isnāt an end goal, itās an ongoing journey of personal growth.
I remember this feeling after i had gotten some sober days under my belt and my world of possibilities opened up. This is when i reflected on my values and whats important to me. I realized i wanted to get physically healthier (lose weight) and travel more. So i began focusing more of my attention in those areas.
I get trying to find balance. Its like i dedicated my first year to sobriety and physical health. Ive dedicated my 2nd year to finding balance between work, home, recovery efforts, fun. Alot of addicts have the all or nothing thinking and rebalancing needs to happen often.
All of that to sayā¦you arent alone. Take time to contemplate next steps and dedicate your energy
Thanks, @Dazercat . This is helpful.
Thank you, @Blondie75 . It helps to know someone else understands how I feel. A plan or a list could be useful. I too love lists. Thanks, Sarah.
I love the yoga pose metaphor, @HolySquid . Makes a ton of sense. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing about your journey. It helps give me some context for my own. I was worried that I was spending too much time thinking and not acting.
This is why Iām at 12 steps we trust our higher power to direct our thinking so that we can trust our mental faculties. If you feel like you want your life to be centered around recovery which I would suggest that it is if you want to keep from drinking then do that make everything in your life come second to your recovery. You wonāt have anything in your life if youāre not sober anyway
I feel like I could have written this.
I too get laser focused on projects, tasks, or ideas, that is, until the next shiny thing comes along. My daughter is convinced itās undiagnosed ADHD; maybe sheās right.
When I first got sober, I obsessed over sobriety and recovery. It felt it was all I thought about, talked about, and wrote about was not drinking. It got to a point where I questioned my mental health. This went on for months, then something new and shiny appeared.
Iāve found that my interests and how and what I spend my time on, comes in waves. Some are short, some are long. Some waves come back, some times theres more than one at a time. But like waves in an ocean, you can eithet fight it and get no where, or you can let it take you to where it wants to go, and enjoy the ride.
And maybe one of these waves will take me to my doctor to talk about adult ADHD. 
Yes, Dan. Thatās exactly it. Shiny things. My wife has suggested my depression comes with a side of ADHD.
Hey friend! I am absolutely with u on having an addictive personality. I too also tend to go all in with whatever i do. Wether thats work, exercise, doing hobbies etc. Balance was something I struggled with alot in early recovery, and sometimes still doā¦ just not as bad.
When it comes to balance, i spent some time figuring out what is important to me amd what id like to focus on. I am a planner, so Id plan where and when i was going to incorporate these activities. If i notice one area taking up too much of my time, i dial it back, so that other areas can get some attention. I found that often times when i become obsessive over something and spend too much time on that area, its actually harmful to me. For example exercise, even tho its generally percieved as a healthy habit, i have overdone it to the point where it has caused me harm mentally and physically. I didnt have balance back then and exercise became my everything. Not healthy for me. Now i am aware of my past and make sure to not fall into that trap in the present 
Thank you, @Butterflymoonwoman . Part of what motivated my OP was the feeling that I tend to go too far in one direction or another. Iām trying to become more aware of this and more self-conscious in correcting my course.
I did the same and it was only sobriety. This is where I think this went wrong for me 
I tried quitting/starting multiple things at once many times, but it never worked and left me disappointed in my failure. So this time, sobriety was my only goal for the first year. No added expectations to let myself down.
Did you workout today? No. Are you sober? Yes 
Is the house a mess? Yes. Did you drink? No Did you eat any vegetables? No. Did you turn down alcohol? Yes If I did anything extra, it was a bonus. If I didnāt do anything, it didnāt matter as long as I succeeded with the one thing that did. Of course I still went to work and took care of my daughter and cats, but I feel I got stuck in that āas long as Iām sober, nothing else mattersā mindset. I know my sobriety has to be above all else, but this feels different.
Getting used to boredom was a top priority too, as it was my major trigger. It was uncomfortable to do nothing for a while, but once I got used to it, itās rare for me to even feel bored anymore. I planned to step up other areas in my life in the 2nd year, but was hit by an unending shitstorm of unfortunate events. Did I use that as an excuse to not move forward? Maybe? Idk. Shit was exhausting 
I can say tho, it was astronomically easier to deal with being sober. Understanding the serenity prayer helped me there 
Anyways. Iāve always been real laid back, but after all that, itās like Iām too laid back. Very little seriously bothers me. After 2 years, I feel like I should feel stagnant, but I donātā¦I donāt think Have I gotten stuck in the ānothingā from āall or nothingā? Idek if Iām still on topic here, but I am grateful that itās got me thinking about this and what I could do to move forward 
As soon as we find some balance in one area of our lives, a different part will require some fair adjustment.
Just as change is a constant factor, some type of balance, or re-balancing, will be needed for another part of our lives.