It seems like all my friends the few that I had were people I used with I’m day 25 now of being sober but unfortunately have no friends to be social with.
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Feeling pretty lonely as the only friends I had were friends that I used with. I am in Southern California I’m on day 25 of sobriety and just feeling pretty alone.
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Welcome Rob!
Like you, all my friends were those I used with. But I found a whole bunch of new ones at in person 12 step meetings. The friends I have now are absolutely amazing. True, authentic and like minded.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
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I know the feeling. I gave up on the whole friendship thing 20y ago. You can still be social of course, if you have a common interest, like a sport, or books, or boardgames… I know it sounds silly but having something already in common break the ice much easier.
Try joining some clubs?
If you don’t have any idea what clubs you might like then try them out and see what happens??!!! Even things you would not expect to like.
I tried social dancing (was not expecting to like it!) …Two years later I’m pretty good at Lindy hop and have made good friends in this place which is not centred on drinking.
I have also joined a climbing club (never had the guts to do it when I was drinking)
And also a caving club! Also a wood working group… It’s brilliant.
Things I have tried that didn’t stick: capoeria and paddle sports, plus a snorkeling and also a mountain biking club.
Try anything and everything! You may find something you love and then eventually thru that you can meet friends.
Good luck!
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I know exactly how you feel I’m trying to find new friends too
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Welcome Jaffa. Welcome Rob. I’m tailee17. @RobdinOC meet @Jaffa. Jaffa this is @RobdinOC . We are all here striving to stay sober and live a fulfilling life without addiction consequences. Stay connected here. Read and post. You can find connections and find connecting out of your comfort zone in the world will become easier…
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Thank u and nice to meet you both
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Welcome to the forum @Jaffa @RobdinOC My best advice to you is to step out of your comfort zone try new things ,feel the fear and do it anyway . I’ve tried jogging, yoga , archery tai chi .I’ve bought a bike I love,I walk everyday I go to the gym when I can afford to . I spent the afternoon on Sunday on a farm with a lady and her husband who I barely know because I told her I like animals and thoroughly enjoyed it .I’m going for coffee tomorrow with a couple of people from my meeting group all I do is share in meetings with them and they share back . Do I know them very well No …Do I know what we’re going to talk about No ….Do we have anything in common No idea 
all I know is one of them reached out to me and asked and another has said can she come to and we said yes so I’m gonna do that . I don’t allow myself to overthink things anymore ,I just don’t allow myself to excuse my way out of it for reasons that don’t exist except for the fear of the and the addict voice in my head saying “fuckin hell why would you want to do that” . Every healthy thing that comes my way I try .it helps keep me sober . I figured no one makes friends sitting on their own
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Thanks to everyone who’s responding first of all, lots of good advice I guess part of it is just the unknown. What to talk about, what we may or may not have in common, how am I going to feel that day, it just all seems kind of overwhelming. I think a lot of that is my addiction still trying to stay alive and keeping me back from trying these things. I do appreciate all the advice and lots of good ideas so thank you to everyone
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I agree Alcohol is cunning and baffling. At 7 months sober for me I am fortunate I have no triggers or cravings. I also just want to share that my alcoholic journey while drinking was complete solitude and isolation. No partying out with people having “FUN”. Sobriety has brought me into the LIGHT. I have found great sober folk and support to remain sober. Recently went to dinner in a highly drinking environment. I had a great time and the fellow drinkers do not affect my decision not to partake.
I love being sober and feel great. Stay here and share. Find connection with all things sober. Check out all the topics and find the ones that interest you most!
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