First 15m, feeling extremely depressed

im in my first 15m. i was sober for almost a yr. i dont have anywhere else to go but this app. my therapist got a new job and people have been harassing me online. my mom is sick. my dog died and my other is sick. i saw a man die last month when at college and i havent been able to stop thinking about him. he looked just like my dad.

ive tried hotlines. ive tried medication. im not sure what else to do but i thought if anyone would know it would be someone here.

i understand if this is too much. i dont know what else to do.

Sounds like you have a lot going on there.
Speaking personally I find more than one thing is hard to grab hold of, so I start simple and pick something I know I can handle. Then it seems natural to pick the next thing to handle. Keep it simple is a good purpose to focus on. Even if it’s just making a cup of coffee.

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okay. ive not been able to focus at all. but ill try anything at this point. thank you so much.

You’re welcome. Sometimes the most mundane of tasks such as hoovering a room can be a great break for the head and lead to focus and a sense of purpose. I guess when we can organise stuff outside of ourselves we can then organise our minds one thing at a time.

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idk anymore. i just want to be better and feel better. the one person left who hasnt given up on me is like my internet mom. i dont want to disappoint her by telling her what i did tonight. especially bc she keeps saying ill be fine. i dont want her to know i failed. i dont have anyone else.

i will try to keep looking at this timer and to try and focus on even just one thing. obviously some part of me wants to be here still.

We fall many times as human beings. That is to be expected. Every long journey starts with a small step.

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i just dont want to feel like this anymore. or forever.

That’s a positive wish. Take every day or hour as it comes with no expectation. Sometimes the most successful thing is to breathe normally without thinking

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thank you. im sorry. everytime ive either hoped for things to be better theyve gotten worse or i did nothing and the same thing happened. im so scared. but i promise to try.

To try is successful no matter what.

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thank you. whatever happens, i wont forget you.

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There are many people out there like us. A problem is shared is a problem halved

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i hope someday i feel as good as my friend says i will. ill keep trying until then. i. might try inpatient maybe. maybe it will help.

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