So I’ve finally decided to try an AA meeting. I am not a people person. Very shy and uncomfortable with them. This is something I want to do and need. What can I expect being new? Will they call a new person out right away?
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i hear you. i’m not a people person at all either, but felt i needed to try aa because i had really just given up any remaining hope/delusions that i could stop living the way i was living. i was just tired of it.
as far as what to expect being new - when you get there and walk in someone may say hi to you, when you sit down someone might say hi there as well. someone might make a little small talk with you. there’s a chance someone will ask if you’re new because they’ll have not seen you before, but, that might not happen. if you make eye contact you’ll get a smile in return at least, but, if you avoid eye contact you can sit unbothered probably.
the meeting will start and they’ll read some things. they’ll ask if there is anyone new at the meeting and if they would like to introduce themselves to the group. this is optional, you by no means are required to, but i highly recommend it. the whole room will give you a welcoming clap. people at aa are really glad to see new people come in. i encourage introducing yourself but you don’t have to. should you choose not to introduce yourself you will not be called out for being new to the group.
the types of meetings vary but if you feel like sharing go for it, if you don’t that’s totally cool too. i’m friends with a guy who says he didn’t share for his first three years.
if you introduce yourself people will likely come say hi to you after the meeting. it’s a good way to meet a few people you’ll likely see again if you keep going. but it’s all up to you.
i highly encourage you attend a meeting and i’d love to hear your experience should you go.
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Pretty much this. And there will be free coffee. Always a bonus.
OP Let us know how it goes when you get back.
So glad you want to try AA! I really hope you enjoy it. Now I’ve only gone to 2 different groups but they were pretty similar. First they read the 12 steps and 12 traditions. Then they asked was this anyone’s first meeting ever. If you wish to say your name you may but you don’t have to or even say its your first meeting. Normally they have one man and woman who are in charge of talking to new comers. If youd like to pull one aside and ask questions after the meeting they will be more then happy to talk with you. Now depending on what type of meeting you go to will determine what is discussed. The chairperson will start the topic and then everyone can share. Sometimes they go around the room so eveyone can share but you can politely decline (with no judgement feeling) or they do like a popcorn thing and anyone can share with no order. They will wrap up with passing out coins or giving acknowledgement to certain times of sobriety. Then that’s it. You are also welcome to politely get up and leave an any point in time.
On a side note I’m only 42 days sober and started AA about a week into my sobriety. Best decision I’ve made. I really hope this helps and hope you enjoy it.
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Pending how it is I have no problem saying my name at least. Not wanting to share right away. What would be the best way to politely decline?
Just say you’d like to just listen today or you’d like to pass. They will thank you for being there then go to the next person. No judgment what so ever. I didn’t share the first couple of times I went either. When i finally did it felt great. Almost like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Generally at my groups the person at the first meeting doesn’t share. The people at the meeting share their experience strength and hope. Our goal is to make sure the newcomer feels like people understand them. We always tell them their next meeting is the most important one.
I’ve been to many different ones in my area as a super reluctant, but interested shy person in need. Nothing is forced and you can just sit and listen, or cry, or leave. If you do join in and take the white chip at the beginning, they may offer you friendship and phone numbers and support. It’s not strait up my alley, but I go because I relate to almost everything that those who share talk about. I really thought I was alone. It’s great to sit beside someone in person who has an inkling of what we are going through!
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