Day one of living alcohol free. I’ve been here before. So many times in fact that I’ve lost track. I haven’t spent more than a couple days alcohol free since being pregnant with my youngest child over 10 years ago. I am a product of generational alcoholics and I want the chain to break with me.
I started drinking in 7th grade. We would drink peppermint schnapps in the locker room before and after gym class. I kept a bottle of Goldschlager in my bedroom closet throughout high school. At family weddings my uncles would deliver me rum and cokes when all I asked for was the coke. I was proud of being able to drink anyone under the table in college, often finishing an entire 30 pack of beer at one party. As an adult I cannot have just one drink. I can’t even have just one bottle of wine. I need to stop all together.
It’s the only way and I’m scared that I will fail.
Congratulations! Even people over 30 years or three months I’ll head to start day one! Everything will get better from here on. We are all here for you!
Welcome Chill. I was pretty scared of starting out too. What if I fail? What if I make a fool of myself. I was pretty much failing at life and making a fool of myself anyway. Anyway… welcome to this great sober community. Lot of people here got my back. And I’m sober because I found this place. My God. And gratitude.
Have a good read around.
Advice for new comers and constant relapsers
Join in when your comfortable.
I hope to see you around.
@ChillSil
Welcome! I’m on Day 13. Im just beginning but my first day wasn’t bad bc I was exhausted and hungover, I just stayed in bed all day watching junk tv and scrolling the internet. Day 2 was harder bc I found myself thinking why not just go back to drinking. You’re only one day in, you haven’t done anything hard yet so just give up and go back to what you know. That was a 5 minutes at a time day. I got active on this app reading and replying. That kept me focused and I didn’t feel alone or like I was doing this by myself. My first weekend was a big trigger bc I usually spent those 48 hours buzzed and usually eventually drunk. I decided to try a Group that had Zoom Meetings a couple of times a day as well as this app. I found WFS (Women For Sobriety) online and that has helped SO MUCH. Snoop around and see what other resources you can add to your active recovery.
Maybe another member here can add some links to Group/Online Meetings?
I’ve also “taken breaks” and “quit” several times over the last 20 years. Always with the intention of using again once I “got a handle on it” and could practice moderation. I know in the deepest part of my being that that is not an option for me. The biggest difference 13 days ago was when I put down the bottle, it was for good, for forever. No wiggling around the idea of sobriety. I committed myself to living sober here on out no matter what, no excuses, no Addict Voice justifications for taking “just a couple of drinks.” That helped me stay the course thus far.
I know I’m only 13 days in, but committing to Forever Sobriety five minutes at a time and diving into resources and getting active and invested in my recovery has really helped me so far. I don’t think of how long or impossible forever sober is, that’s not what I mean. I do it ODAAT reminding myself all the time that Drinking Just Isn’t an Option for me.
Thank you all so much for responding with such positivity and motivation, not only in your words but also by providing resources through life experience. It already feels a little easier knowing you all are out there doing this too. I am grateful to have the clarity to live alcohol free while I am still physically strong enough to do so.
Something I’ve been considering is changing my mindset around alcohol. I have a severe shellfish allergy. So severe that I went into anaphylaxis walking past a fish counter at the grocery store. They must have been steaming some lobster or another type of crustacean or mollusk and that was all it took to require a dose from my epi pen. It wasn’t always this way though. Growing up we had shellfish all the time in the summer. As a family we would go clamming as tradition and spend days camping on the beach and surf casting. This allergy didn’t present itself until I was in my mid twenties. Now, I can’t go near the stuff. I can’t even entertain having it or I could literally die.
I wonder if I start to think of the effects of alcohol as an allergy that could kill me if it will ease some of the challenge. It’s not far off base. It definitely could kill me.
Yes Bobby you are correct . Every day is brand new day living sober. One day at a time. The only way that I have accumulated 30 years of sobriety you have to give it away to keep it. Keep the faith it works if you work it.
Alcohol most definitely will kill you if you continue. Are you in any sobriety support groups? Rehab would absolutely be beneficial. This is very serious. If you’ve tried before you need to change or add things so that you can get and stay sober. TS is an awesome community. Glad you are here.
Thank you all for your support and for allowing me the opportunity to receive the help I need. First 24 hrs alcohol free feels like a big success. It was a hard few hours after 7pm last night but I got through it.
That’s brilliant
Yes in my early days I had to have something little planned to look forward to each evening to help me like a bath, my favourite meal, a good tv show just to pass that bit of time.
Here for you if you need to talk❣️I feel you. Also can’t have just one drink once I start. At almost 5 days sober. We can do this if you all help each other.
I’ve been drinking regularly for a few years now and have had a few embarrassing “wake up calls”. I tried last week and made it 3 days — today is day 1 again.
Be strong! It’ll be hard but we’re all in this together.
Evening two and the desire to drink is back. I have my plan though, I’m going to settle in with a cup of warm tea and get some much needed work done on memorizing lines for a play I’ve been cast in.
I’m doing well during the day. The thought of drinking comes up, sometimes because of an advertisement or the like but mostly it is with anxiety about upcoming social interactions. I am meeting a friend on Friday night that I haven’t seen in a little while. I’m kind of at a loss as to what to do other than “grab a drink”. I love going to live music, and there are a ton of options where I am but it is always at a bar or brewery or vineyard…I want to have the strength to order a mocktail but am anxious that the environment will not lend itself to my sobriety.
It won’t be a good idea to meet at a bar. Way early in sobriety if that’s what you are aiming for. You may tell your friend that you aren’t drinking and go somewhere that doesn’t serve alcohol. A true friend would support you.
I adore this comment. It’s so helpful as I am entering my first 30 days for the first time. It’s funny, it’s like you don’t even realize it’s a problem until you look back and think, wow, that amount is just not ok, in any capacity. It’s not easy at all, but it’s so much better than always feeling like rotting dumpster flowers.
I needed a lot of quiet activities while I got steady on my new sober legs. Maybe ask your friend to grab a coffee and catch up over a walk? I avoided bars, favorite restaurants and anywhere I knew that the “just one” thoughts could creep in. It’s never just one for me, it’s all the booze I can hold, plus a few more.
I love your idea of looking at alcohol as an allergy. Is it a harmful substance that your body wishes you wouldn’t put into it? Yes!
Could it make you break out in handcuffs? Also yes!
Lay a sober head on your pillow every night until it clicks. Then keep doing that.
