Today is my first day back at my outpatient rehab since I relapsed months ago. I’m nervous and embarrassed that I messed up. This is so hard for me. I know I am better off without heroin but it’s so hard to stop and stay sober. Getting clean and going through the withdrawals isn’t the hard part, it’s actually staying clean. I think I need to get a sponsor.
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Have you been going to any meetings line NA or even AA. I’m clean of crack and heroin and I stay clean by going to narcotics anonymous meetings.
You will get a sponsor at a meeting, the two kinds go hand in hand. I’m also taking naltrexone/vivitrol so even if I was to use some dope it wouldn’t do anything to me as the naltrexone blocks it, I’ve found that it stops me craving heroin aswell. 
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Hay welcome I’m 9 days clean from a relapse so I understand how crappy you feel. It’s so hard getting back on track but with help and support we can do this . As you say it’s the keeping clean bit … I got 8months and went back to crack and heroin… it’s tough but I do believe in the 12steps programme and I’ve learned I need to work the programme and not get slack. Good luck xxx
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We are all here for you too! 
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Yes a sponsor would be a sensible idea
The best thing I ever did.
Well done for getting on track
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We are so proud of you. That is a huge brave step. Go to NA meetings. And go to AA meetings. Go at least twice a day-morning evening. Maybe you even want to do an afternoon meeting as well. Get a temporary sponcor and have them guide you through the steps. They go to meetings with you and you call them when you feel off. And if you end up not liking something about them- get a new one. Until you find your life long sponcor.
It is so hard and great to take that first step. I just remember how I felt deep inside and I dont ever want to feel like that again. I wish you success. Be so proud of your self. You can do this. 
Shine Brite
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Bless your heart thankyou Darren x means so much to me x
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def get a sponsor! we all mess up, kaycie. its part of being human. but getting off the hamster wheel death ride of addiction will save your life. staying sober is hard as hell sometimes but its a lot better than the alternative – wasting our lives and bodies away with our addictions. you’re already doing a damn good deed for yourself by going to outpatient. keep it up and come back here anytime you need support. x
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“I’m nervous and embarrassed that I messed up.”
Don’t feel that way. We all make mistakes and nobody will judge you because they are in the same boat as you. If they do judge Fuck them and the high horse they’re on. Good luck.
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No shame here. Glad you are back at your outpatient rehab to get some help. Take it one day at a time. Getting a sponsor sounds brilliant! Just do it. 