This is my first day keeping sober. I used to have a big drug problem, after I beat that I ended up drinking non stop. Last night was the final straw for my boyfriend and I. I went out and stayed out all night drinking…driving
Being irresponsible and idiotic.
I feel so so terrible. I finally hit me today that I can’t do this anymore. Im hurting the people I love and myself. Its so hard for me to resist temptation ,I have the worst self discipline.
I’m really hoping to get some advice and help through these forums and people who share the same experience as me. I dont know what to do anymore… I feel like hurting myself because of how bad I hurt my boyfriend by doing this
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I had a night like that in June. I went by a friend 45 min away and we drank strong margaritas all night. I finally left and should not have driven. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t get in an accident or pulled over. I barely remember the drive and definitely blacked out at some point.
The guilt and level of being scared i was at was insane. I will never ever do that again. While I didn’t quit drinking right away, it was definitely eye opening and allowed me to change some habits. Still working on the rest though.
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I got tired of being a wreckless drunk.
Id set boundaries to follow to try and control my drinking but I couldnt follow them. I did alot of things drunk, that I would never do sober.
Not every time I drank, but it became so unpredictable, and more frequent. I wouldn’t even remember it most of the time.
I finally got tired of being that way and quit. I’ve made alot of changes in my life. I dont go to bars anymore. I dont hang out when people are drinking. Especially if its friends who like to tell me I wasnt that bad. It was bad. I know it was bad. Most people didnt know how bad it was.
I use this forum for support 24/7 and AA.
Welcome. Glad your here.
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Welcome to the forum and good for you on deciding to pursue sobriety. This is a good place to start. I was super reckless when I’d drink. I’ve been the source of a lot of pain for those I cared about. So I can relate. A ton of other people here can as well. As I’m sure you’re going to be finding out. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Below is a link to a thread. It has a ton of resources that others have found helpful in their recovery. Take a look and see if anything looks like something you’d be interested in and give it a try. Also, read a bunch here and check in often. 
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I believe we’ve all made huge mistakes and hurt our loved ones. The first step is realizing that we can’t do this anymore to ourselves and to the people we love the most. It starts with accountability and then self forgiveness. Each day we can continue down the same path that we kept living or make a change for the better each day. One day at a time. Don’t beat yourself up. That will get you no where. Choose YOU and start loving yourself. You can do this and so can I!! I’m only on day 17 of being sober from alcohol and I’ve been keeping positive each day so I can keep moving forward! Stay strong…
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Welcome Morgan. Great place to get help here. Addiction is too powerful to do it yourself. Good first step reaching out. Lot of experience here. And many caring people here all just trying not to take that first drink again. Because we all know where that leads us. Ones too many and a hundred ain’t enough. I’m terrified to think about not ever having a nice bottle of wine again. But that don’t matter because I’m not drinking today. And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow. And that is the only way I can think about it. And have faith in God ( or a higher power) to help me through it.
God Bless you Morgan. Your worth it and you deserve a happy sober life. We all do.
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We all start the same way, understanding and accepting that we have a problem with alcohol. From there it goes into what are you willing to do to stay sober.
What are you willing to do to be a better version of yourself?
I certainly dealt with the guilt and remorse of my drinking escapades and the physical, emotional and financial damage it caused myself and my family. Been down the damage myself road too, but you don’t have too. You can’t change yesterday, it’s a done deal, but you can do right for yourself and partner today… focus on the day you have power over and that’s today, in the present. I’ve been sober for a few days and months in a row, and I still just focus on doing it today.
Welcome to the forum, hope you become a regular and part of the family. Pretty cool folks around here honestly, so much to relate too.
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I am definietly will to go to extreme lengths to maintain a healthy sober life. I’ve started working out every morning about a month ago and that’s been the best thing I’ve ever done. I stick to it and I’m at the gym every day, even down 15 pounds.
Now all I need is to stay sober. Going to the gym has definietly helped me clear my head of any anxiety or depression I’ve had.
But everytime the weekend rolls around or end of the day all I think about is alcohol. Its day 2 now and I’m really happy , I was even at. a birthday party for my boyfriends friend last night where everyone was drinking and I just drank water.
I also did an AA zoom meeting yesterday which made me feel really good.
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Well, it’s at least good that you PHYSICALLY didn’t injure anyone or yourself, or get arrested and so on. Still, it’s a good thing that you’ve come to realise that you have a problem, here.
Lots of us do, so you’re in good company.
Something that I often repeat to new people on this site (quote from Alan Carr’s book), is that doing without alcohol is not DEPRIVING yourself of anything, but rather FREEING yourself from the talons of an industry that has spread misery and illness and death for millennia.
If you drank (all at once) 500 ml of water or even Coke, what would happen ? Nothing, other than perhaps feeling a bit bloated.
If you drank (all at once) 500 ml of straight 100% alcohol, what would happen ? You would probably die before you got through the 500 ml. So what does that tell you about how good alcohol is or isn’t for you ?
I suggest that you check in here quite often, you’ll find it helpful… I certainly do.
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