Welcome @19801 - you are not alone.
My addiction is a different behaviour, but addictions have a lot of common elements, and I understand.
You are not alone in needing to be healthy (sober), and you have help. If you seek help from books and podcasts and groups - Resources for our recovery - and if you commit to one simple action every day (and take it one day at a time, not worrying about the future), you will make it.
Welcome to Talking Sober!