I’ve been in your shoes many o times. My boyfriend knows a side to me that I dont even know. Bc I somehow continue to talk and walk around and continue to drink at the same time. I’m a blackout queen(not proud of that). Luckily I’ve never been a phone addict, bc even when I’m just ‘buzzed’ I have to close one eye in order to figure out what I’m typing (usually very horrible things). Alcohol doesnt make me seriously physically ill but I wish it did bc maybe I would have stopped this long ago. The embarrassment and shame has actually helped me, even tho it feels awful. I’ve embraced those feelings every time I think of drinking bc I know that’s exactly where it will take me. It never gets better. There is no control. That’s something us addicts need to accept in order to move forward. Glad you’ve joined our community. We help each other get thru the things we’ve already experienced ourselves. This can be the first day of the rest of your life if you want it to be. You’ll be able to meet the real you, hidden behind years of numbness. Read, read, and read some more. And take action with the advice people give to you. It takes work but it’s worth it. All the best 
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I used to hide my empty bottles too and the full bottles so no one would ld know how much I actually drank… we just got to take it one minute at a time and after each minute you feel some bit better for getting pass that minute… I’m on day 2… xx
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Hello. You’re in good company here. It’s safe and nurturing. Welcome. X
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Welcome to the spot. I know exactly how you feel. I hated feeling that way. We don’t have to ever again. Were glad your here.
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