First fully sober moth for nearly 22 years

Milestones
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Rather than a daily check in post, I thought I would post here, because I am a little bit proud today.
I have my one month anniversary :grinning:

I did find out last Saturday the truth of a statement I had been told, but never actually accepted

In my previous attempts with a system called smart recovery, I never made it this long as I always buckled in the past when a craving hit me.Even if I did not get howling, I did drink enough to satisfy the craving. Then when smart recovery stopped, I lost control again.

I had been told that the cravings only last a short while, and then they disappear for a while. I did not believe this, but there again, I never gave it a chance. So last Saturday I was going for some fellowship, and I was feeling quite happy that I had lasted as long as I had.

Then that bloody idiot voice started in the back of my head. The voice that was telling me that if I did not go silly, no one needed to know. I could keep that one ‘little break’ a secret. And it would have done me the world of good (according to the bloody idiot voice).

As it was, my fellowship was not with AA, but at my church. (Don’t panic, I am not going to go 'God Squad on everyone). It was just an hour of fellowship, and then I left. I must admit, I still would have liked a ‘little break’, but not with the intensity of the craving beforehand. I am not going to spoil everything and say that it was a miracle, it was physiology. It was the truth I had never found out. It was time that made the difference.
So I treated myself to an ASDA create your own pizza (large woodfired, BBW sauce, red onion, sweetcorn, mushroom mozzarella and extra cheese with garlic oil). Then I decided to treat myself with some alcohol free wine. While I was getting that, someone started asking me if I could recommend an ‘normal’ bottle, and even that did not trigger anything.

So, at last I found that the cravings can come on quickly, and can be strong. But they have a very short period.

So as of now, I have had no alcohol for 30 days. Apart from a tiramisu which according to the ingredients contained 1% marsala wine in the base. So I guess I should own up to the 0.12% if I am being totally open and honest.

As it it, my sober day counter shows that at my minimum daily spend prior to quitting, I have saved £468 ($590).

The weight has started to creep down a bit, but I am also limiting myself to the amount of my favourite pizza to two per month.

Although I know I can never relax my vigilance over the Bloody idiot voice, I’m beginning to feel hope for the future for the first time in nearly 22 years.

So, because tonight is a bit of a personal celebration, I am not even going to have an alcohol free substitute. I do not want to link celebration with any form of my addiction, I have curry for my evening meal, with a bottle of pure pressed apple juice and a root beer.

The purpose of posting this is not to be congratulated, but to let people know at the beginning of their journey, two things.

  1. It can be done if you try. And it has taken me a lot of attempts to get this far.

  2. The cravings can be sharp, unexpected and for a little while, all consuming. The important bit is a little while. Distract yourself for a little bit. Go to a meeting, play a bit of a video game, do anything, and then you realise that the craving has past. It then just becomes habit. And habits can be broken.

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I am going to congratulate you bcuz i think this IS a huge deal!! Im extremely proud of you :slight_smile: i agree with what u said in that cravings can be very strong and overpowering but they do only last a while. I used to give in to the slightest sign of a craving bcuz it felt so powerful and like it would last forever. Once i started putting some effort into waiting the cravings out and engaged myself in healthy activities to disitract myself, the cravings went away. And now at 444 days clean i rarely get many cravings and when i do, its easier to work thru them. So i absolutely agree with u! Again, congratulations on 30 days!!! Thats a huge accomplishment :clap:

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Thank you, I wish I had believed people in the past when they told me it would pass.

I hope the post will help others, to get past the dark days at the beginning. I have a long way to go, but once you have a foundation, it helps to make the next day easier.

The money that I am saving also helps :grin:. It has just paid for a tracker fitting to my car, and also a front and rear dash cam fitting to my car. Together they save me 20% on my insurance premiums. That has got to be better than using it to poison myself :grin::+1:

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You do deserve congratulations! Keep it up. Great to read your story of success. The cravings I find are really hard to manage but I’m keeping on trying

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I can honestly say they do not last long. And that is not someone forgetting how it was at the beginning, I am still at the beginning :grin:

They are sharp and intense, but they pass. And that knowledge is now my armour against them.

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Congratulations! I know you didn’t ask for praise, but I’m day 33 today, so right there with you :blush:! It’s definitely something to be proud of!

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Congratulations :clap::tada::clap:. If church helps you, then good for you. Cravings do pass, and I feel each time you ‘dodge a bullet’ you become more determined.

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Congratulations!!! :raised_hands:t2: Rock on!

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Way cool. So happy for you being here

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It was less church, but time. It just so happened that the time was spent at church, but anything that distracted me until the craving passed would have worked…

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I also do this from time to time, it’s quiet there and you can just collect your thoughts and feelings for a while. I do pray but to my own higher power whatever that is. Congratulations on your 1 month and be careful with that food content. I won’t even have alcohol in mouthwash. I’m not at all against alcohol free drinks as I have drank them myself when times have been tough just to take the edge off but as time goes by for me it’s kinda living a lie, bit like my decaf coffee :slightly_smiling_face:anyway well done again and it’s just one day at a time.

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I don’t drink tea and coffee, and also I use alcohol free mouthwash.

I enjoy the alcohol free drinks, but never when things are tough or going well And the only upcoming celebration that will call for a toast is the coronation. Although I will be at work, I would not know what to do if I was forced to take a hoolidah (I think that is how it is spelt :rofl:) I have a bottle of Nozeco to raise an alcohol free toast to the King.

I am trying to mentally separate the past triggers from my enjoyment of the substitute, hopefully to dull the effects of those triggers.

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Such a wonderful post reflecting your growth in sobriety over the last month. Congrats to you!

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well done keep us posted on your journey

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Thank you all.

And to those who are starting their journey, I can be done. If you fall off the horse (or bike in my case, horses do not like me), get back on.

I know I have a lot of work to do to keep from resetting the clock. But even after a month I am beginning to see the weight go down (slowly, I am a nerd and therefore allergic to exercise), and seeing the bank balance go up.