Yesterday I attended a gathering with friends, 60 or so people. Free beer in the coolers as well as water. I am 100+ days sober from alcohol and I nearly said F-it and dove in but I didn’t. I was there for about three hours and watched as some of my friends became drunk, slurring words and getting loud. I thought a beer would taste great but I knew it would not end well for me and I would be hung over and depressed if I drank. I left as things were getting cranked up, got home and had super mixed feelings, glad I didn’t drink but bummed, thinking I was missing out on the fun. Today I am happy and productive instead of sick and laying around. But for some reason I feel weird, and semi-depressed. Any similar experiences? I feel like I am over thinking this but find sobriety very difficult.
Congrats on getting thru your first gathering sober. Its tough early in sobriety. I get the mixed feelings my friend, i had to leave my first wedding sober after 3hrs cuz it got to be too much. Keep building your sobriety toolkit
Congrats on your great sobriety streak! You went through a very difficult situation yesterday. Well done on not caving.
There will be all kinds of emotions coming up in the future in connection with situations you know from your life of addiction. You now need to make these seemingly normal experiences anew as a sober person. Your brain needs to assess these situations in a new light. From the perspective of a sober person.
I don‘t drink and so I can tell you that there is no fun in a party full of drunks. Never was. And you made this experience yesterday. Unless you engage in drinking yourself - where you don‘t care how you act - you will not have a good time at this kind of party. Unless you find something else to enjoy there.
Sobriety means re-learning all kinds of things. This is difficult. You are on the right path though.
This doesn’t sound fun to me.
You went enjoyed the company of your friends and remember the event. I’m not so sure the others can say the same thing. I think it’s normal to feel like we are missing out in early sobriety but really it the drunk people who are missing out on the sober fun
Your changing your behaviour. Changing your way of life. That’s huge Dan. Of course there’s mixed emotions for you. We all want to keep our status quo. Even when that status quo is bad or even terrible. It’s inherent to what and how we are. Change is scary.
And yes, you’re losing what you did for I don’t know how long. You used to be one of those folks getting drunk and slurring their words and having a hangover the next day. And now you’re happy and productive. Weird!
Congrats Dan. That’s a big victory for you. Keep going. Next time it will be slightly easier and the double feelings a bit less. One day and one occasion at a time friend. You’re doing great.
Proud of you for doing it. Be so proud of yourself that you’re not one of the ones calling ( texting ) the others to find out what you did or talk about what the others did. You did it sober! Yay. As you go along in your sobriety hopefully you’ll wonder why you would ever want to do it otherwise. There’s nothing there.
Good for you!!! I didn’t go anywhere except work and the grocery store in my first six months. It got lonely so I realized I needed to get out more. Drinking get togethers are tough because at first it looks like such a good time. But don’t forget what alcohol is…cunning, baffling, and powerful. A single drink can take you right back to where you’re trying to get away from. I’m not saying to isolate yourself, but maybe try to make friends with people who are sober and don’t need alcohol to have a good time. I almost relapsed a few weeks back as my best friend just passed away. I was in the parking lot of the liquor store and I just cried because I couldn’t bring myself to go in and get anything. I was depressed I couldn’t numb myself out. The next day I was grateful I didn’t. And now I know I don’t have to drink or use no matter what. It’s normal to feel like you’re missing out in the early days but never forget where you came from and that you’re one drink away from heading back. You got this and while we don’t know each other I’m SO proud of you for being strong enough to say no!!! You are a warrior. Never forget that!!!
Way to go, man! We’ve already done the slur, loud and obnoxious shit enough. This way is so much simpler, cheaper, healthier, memorable and less painful.
If we continue to do this, we actually get to live life free. The obsession will lift as time goes on. Hugs!