Littlechipp here and im kinda nervous and also really excited writing this. Im 19 years old, turning 20 on Dec 4 and i decided to start this journey for two main reasons. A) I knew i had a porn addiction. I knew it for like the past 2 years that my consumption of internet porn has and is increasing day by day. I just liked how it felt, the rush, the dopamine release, everything. 2 years passed, i finally get myself my first ever gf. Still with her by the way. She’s the woman i fell in love with as you already know your first love is the most special one and i want to make sure it stays like that forever. I can see myself spending my life with her, which is also the other half part of this reason. From hitting puberty and discovering porn and starting to masturbate to the point of getting into a stable relationship and consuming unhealthy amounts of porn, my mental image of sex in real life in general was so distorted. Moving to the second reason. B) My gf and i are long distance. We met twice. First meeting we just kissed and had the first kisses of our lives. Its sad for me to say but i did not get hard when we kissed while according to her she wanted to rip my clothes off in the restaurant. Second meeting(which was yesterday) we finally decided to have sex as both of us agreed its time and we are finally comfortable. We met in a hotel, did the usual foreplay and i still couldnt get hard from the 10-15 minutes foreplay. Decided to go down on her she enjoyed it fully which was my main goal going through this cos i wanted her to feel good as i put her first in all of this. She started touching my dick but nothing happened. Trying not to make her feel bad like its her doing the wrong thing because it wasnt it was all me, i just went down and engaged in oral sex. Keep in mind its not her in all of this, its me that couldnt get hard with her and missing out on sex. Its not like i cant get hard, if i watch porn i did get hard. When i came home, slept and thought about it because the guilt of not satisfying my gf who i love in all of this world just fucking kills me. I find her the hottest woman ive ever laid my eyes on. Its either the anxiety cos thats what ive read on google as i searched this issue today. But the number 1 solution i saw was to QUIT PORN ENTIRELY and let my gf be the source of my sexual release rather than internet porn. Thats is why, to provide my girlfriend and myself a good sex life and fulfill each others needs, i decided to fully commit to do this. Writing this is making me nervous because this is the first time me addressing the situation and the problem let alone writing it on a community page. But im hopeful, im hopeful i’ll get better not only for my gf but for myself and all the benefits its gonna come with. Mentally and both physically. I hope this community is cool and accepting and i can keep this sobriety for a very very long time.
Welcome. I’m glad you’re here. And thanks for sharing. I can relate to the PIED. Porn induced erectile dysfunction. If you can find a path to freedom, it will certainly help your relationships.
Good on you. Focussing on building a real connection with a cherished partner will broaden your horizon and nourish you sexually and emotionally. So glad to hear you’re where you are at such a young age. Beautiful.
Welcome to this community. Use the 
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Hi, there. You are courageous to be this vulnerable about your problem. I would recommend that you talk to your primary care physician about your erection issue as well because this could be something organic that may not even be related to having sex. Check it out. Best wishes for your recovery from porn. You also mentioned anxiety. Have you hooked up with a mental health therapist to talk to them about your anxiety?
Hey it’s a great decision you’re making! I also had this problem the first time I had a gf at 18. Although I had quit porn entirely a few months before I met her I had a distorted sense of sexuality because of 4 years of porn addiction (age 13-17) and because I had worked as sex worker.
What helped me most was no porn no matter what, and relaxing with her, she even said to me that I shouldnt think about if I could please her, that I shouldn’t take it too serious and to not have too much pressure. Just chill and cuddle with her and maybe not the first time but sooner than later it will happen. Just don’t make yourself any pressure, because if she’s the right one she will have the patience. And she will understand that if you tell her why. The less you think about it the easier it will get. There’s also techniques like walking a lot, eating garlic, sauna, exercise to help. But for me it was important to not obsess on getting a boner, just letting it happen.
No a few years later I don’t crave porn at all and when I have a partner I have wonderful sex. I did relapse on porn when on amphetamines and other drugs sometimes but even that felt too shitty to keep doing because I see porn for what it is now: a problem for my brain. I don’t follow Instagram accounts that trigger. And it’s really concerning what porn does to some of my friends. It’s a real addiction. The way some of my peers talk about it, I see big similarities to drug addiction. Quit it now and believe me, you won’t miss it at all someday!
And maybe look into brain scan images of porn addicts on google
Thank you so much for your reply. Yes you’re right, once youre free from this, your life just becomes so much easier. Thats what i am aiming for. Also, I did not know about the PIED term you used, thanks for letting me know, i will research more about it and educate myself more. GOING STRONG!
Thank you so much for your kind reply. This really motivated me to go even stronger. I just want to be the best version of myself not only for her but also my own self. I can see myself, by doing this, getting so many benefits not only sexually but also mentally. Can’t wait to continue this journey and keep at it for a very long time.
Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I did book an appointment with a mental health specialist to talk about my anxiety. I had my first meeting and it went smoothly. I think therapy and me quitting porn will really help and benefit me in the long run.
Thank you so much for your reply. Your story has actually helped me so much. Thats what i am aiming for. No porn in any shape or form. I just want to be with her no matter what. I had second thoughts about discussing this with her but i finally did say it and she was more than supportive. She understood my point of view and wanted me to not worry about anything as we have our whole life ahead of us to figure things out. I will be better for, not only her but also myself.
Hi, there, littlechipp. You appear to be doing all the right things to “right the ship” so to speak. Remember, therapy, from my personal experience, takes time and if you are like me you will want the results to appear shortly after you start to get uncomfortable with what the therapist is doing with you. That is the time things get productive but your mind takes time to heal from injury and you can regard your situation as a brain injury that happened over time, so it will also take time for your brain to repair itself during your work with your therapist. I also suggest that you keep those sessions with your therapist confidential and that you do not share them on this site even if you feel safe using an anonymous name.
Best regards, Mike
That’s lovely to hear, with such an attitude you will surely reach freedom from porn! And yea do it for yourself in the first place