What the title saidđ I made 14 days and I felt like I didnât struggle all that much with cravings, so I thought eh, maybe Iâm fine for a few after all. But it ended up being 2 binge nights in a row, felt like crap physically and mentally.
I think my biggest issue is my comparison to other people, I hear/read stories and think âwell I donât have THAT much, maybe Iâm not overboard with drinking like I thoughtâ kind of makes me a bit of an asshole I feel like and I shouldnât be doing that. I finally told myself, dont think about how much or how little you or anyone else has, do you want to be sober yes or no?(answer being yes) is all that should matter.
I was about to say something and went into a rant haha, sorry for the random vent.
My biggest hurdle is a bachelor party coming up, I have a large friends group, about 12 of us, we all knew each other since young kids, so this is a big deal to the group. But I know what I have to do, either make up a random excuse or tell them the truth. What was your experiences like, telling friends/family and any advice? I was thinking of just starting with my best friend and go from there but idk. I will sleep on it I suppose.
Anyways 4 days sober and feeling better this time, hope everyone is doing well and had a good weekend!.
Good morning, i have told a few people that i want to stay sober for a while , just to loose some weight. Didnt tell i did quit forever . So no questions from anyone for me.
Stay strong 
Hi there đ
Canât you skip the bachelor party? Call in sick?
I the first 3 months or so I avoided every alcohol related events because I didnât think I could manage them sober.
The first day of my being sober I told my husband. Later on I told my kids. The first months I told others I wanted to live healthier for a while. Now I have more sober time I just say I do not drink. If I got more questions about it it depends on our relationship. If they are close to me I tell them I have drank enough for my entire life so I had enough. If they are not close I say I donât like alcohol at all.
Hi @FrozenBiscuit, good job getting tight back on the sober horse! Thatâs the way!
I would say tell your friends and be honest. If it is the way I imagine and your childhood friends and you getting smashed together is tradition, I donât think you stand a chance just telling one or a few of them, because a group dynamic will develop where youâll be pestered to drink - all in good cheer i mean, but still. If it wasnât for the big occasion I would say tell a few ppl you are comfortable with and reduce your social obligations for a while, but thatâs not possible in your case (I assume you want to go to the party).
Best of luck. You know what you have to do.
Something to keep in mind; alcoholism is a progressive disease. Youâre not overboard YET. You havenât ruined your life through alcohol YET. Wouldnât you rather stop before those things are true?
Iâm considered a âhigh bottomâ in AA because I never had a DUI, lost my job, had physical withdrawal symptoms, etc. When I listen to peopleâs stories about their low bottom experiences, I take it as a warning of where I will end up if I start drinking again. If you havenât looked into AA, I recommend it. The steps focus on getting ourselves out of our egos, judgments, resentments, and self-will. I know it doesnât work for everyone (or imo doesnât work unless you work it) but Iâm blown away by how much my life has improved working the steps.
In terms of the bachelor party, I would either not go or be completely forthcoming about not drinking. Everyone Iâve told has been supportive, and if theyâre not thatâs on them not you. Take your own car, and leave early or whenever you start to feel like you canât be around the alcohol anymore. That way youâve shown your support for your friend without putting yourself at risk. People may try to convince you to stay, but trust me - theyâll get over it a few drinks later and youâll wake up feeling a hell of a lot better than you would if you drank.
Iâm a high bottom too. No jail time or collateral damage to innocents or lost jobsâŚYETâŚso the exploits of others in this regard are cautionary tales to me.
This thing creeps like ivy across the top of the fenceâŚI donât know if Iâm one relapse or six away from a nightmare with others hurt or a whole new bottom.
IF it was me: no bachelor party. Too risky.
Personally, if you were able to trick yourself into drinking at 14 days then I would not be rushing off to a bachelor party.
If you tell your friends, which again I would personally, and they are real friends then they will understand and be happy to help. But all you will need, if you will be feeling vulnerable, is one person saying " oh go on, itâs just tonight" and your little voice that got you drinking at 14 days will be agreeing.
Obviously, after your little reset you now realise how easy it is to be mislead.
So the above senario could be different.
Itâs up to you. If they are mates youâve known for years then they should be really supportive of your decision. I suppose this is the time to find out how close you are.
If they are not supportive, do you really want them in your life now you are moving on.
Tell them, itâs the only way you are going to get past this.
Gauge what you do after that.
This is, after all, your life not theirs.
In the past, I have claimed âstomach problemsâ or âa bit of an ulcerâ for reasons for not drinking in social settings (not that I have many of those). That usually worked for me.
Itâs good, it helps to get through any given situation at first.
But part of the whole sobriety journey is honesty.
With ourselves and loved ones.
As soon as I told people who matter to me it was such a liberating experience.
People who donât matter donât get told more than I donât drink, because they donât matter to me.
I can skip for sure and thatâs what Iâll probably do tbh. Thank you for you message 
@Tess Very well said, I understand what youâre saying and youâre right and thatâs what I was thinking âstop it before it gets worseâ I really appreciate your message, thank you.
Thank you! And yeah I think I will just be honest, lying usually doesnât work well for me haha.
Might find some helpful info in this threadâŚ
Yeah I hear ya, youâre right. Thanks for the reply.
Donât look at this as your first relapseâŚbut rather your ONLY relapse. Believe me, the words you use make a huge difference. It isnât that you canât drink but that you donât and wonât drink.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Only relapseâŚI like that better! Thank you for the kind words
@anon12657779 Yeah youâre are right I feel like and about the friends thing they SHOULD understand but if not, I still do what I think is right. I really appreciate your message