Dear Community, perhaps someone could help a bit…Im on my very first sober holiday, I hit 40 days sober today. Its so hard und so unusual being in this state right now, sitting in a beach so sober, restaurants, everything seems to be more…boring. I try to focus in the beauty of hhe place and enjoy the time and focus with my kids, but ITS so different, uncomfortable, fell like something is missing to make it a perfect holiday…anyone got tips for me? Incould really use a strenghting word rn😀 thank you!
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Hi @Karo
Congratulations for the 40 days at first! 
Being on a holiday in the beginning of your sobriaty isn’t easy. For me with a few years sobriaty under my belt a holiday still can give me cravings sometimes.
What helps me is to talk about it. You are doing so here, so maybe that will get the edge off?
Maybe you can talk about it with your partner (if you have one) ore a friend near by?
Also distraction helps, keeping yourself busy with active holiday activaties like swimming for example, visithing musea, churches, etc.
Maybe rewarding yourself with something nice because of your 40 days?
Playing the tape trough when you crave for a drink I use in that situation too. What will happen if you take that drink?
- many drinks will follow
- next day a hangover
- maybe a blackout
- you will do stupid things while drunk
- you will be a bad example for your kids
- you will ruin your holiday
- you will feel ashamed and guilty the next day
- etc
And you will be on day 1 again…That doesn’t sound as a perfect holiday to me.
Is that what you want?
I guess not.
Triggers and cravings are a temporary thing. We can go right trough them. Focus on today and get trough today sober, you can do it!
There are so many things you can enjoy at your holiday, so go get that icecream!!
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@Karo, congratulations on reaching 40 days sober! That’s a fantastic achievement. It’s completely normal to feel like something is missing because you’re experiencing things in a new, sober way. I’m 42 days in, and it’s my first sober holiday as well. What I’ve done is journal things down to remind me why I shouldn’t drink. Here are some tips to help you make the most of your holiday:
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Focus on the Positive: Celebrate the fact that you are creating new, healthier memories with your kids. They will remember these moments fondly, and so will you.
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Stay Active: Engage in activities that keep you busy and focused.
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Stay Connected: Reach out to someone who understands your journey. Sharing your experiences and feelings with others who have been through the same thing can be very comforting. Which you’ve done, but keep coming back.
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Be Kind to Yourself: It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. Remind yourself that you are doing something incredibly positive for your health and well-being.
It’s okay to feel different because you are different now. Every sober moment is a step towards a healthier, happier you. Enjoy your holiday and take pride in the strength it takes to stay on this path. You’ve got this 
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Wow thank you much, i love your tips! Keeping busy ist a great Idea, thank you for remindung me why did i quit drinking in the first place, it never stops with one…my Kids really do appreciate me being so Balanced, calm, friendly and Happy 
Thecravings come mostly in the evening when we chill, in will hang on and keep the score, I have an impression, that having a drink now will throw me back to a place i will Not have Tage Power to come out
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I struggled with this a lot early on as well. What usually got me through it was just playing the tape forward, as they say. I would picture how the rest of my day would go if I had that “just one drink”.
It’s never worth it.
Once you have more sober time under your belt, it just becomes your new normal and I promise it isn’t as hard as it is now. You start to see how drunk people around you act and you realize how much more of life you are able to enjoy because you’re sober.
The hardest part for me was the first month or two because it can be really challenging to build a new sober routine. Once you do, you will find that sobriety is amazing. You just have to keep pushing through the early days and make sure you are actively working on recovery each day, not just staying sober.
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Hi Karo, your post is the second one today that got me to thinking that a very human thing to do is to assign some special significance and power to a day or an event. In fact, today is no different, intrinsically, than tomorrow or next Sunday or two Wednesdays ago.
Like others have suggested, staying in the moment now, staying in today and not fantasizing about what’s missing is a skill we need to learn, that I needed to learn and I still need to practice. This is true of many kinds of people, but especially of us addicts and alcoholics. We are just like everyone else, only more so - that’s something I used to hear in AA meetings quite a lot.
At 40 days, you are lucky to be going through many firsts as a sober person. When I hit a year sober, a fella took me aside and told me that “Now you know what to expect every day of the year”. I was proud of that and a little sad - it had been exciting to go through my birthday and my son’s birthday and Mother’s Day and Memorial Day all sober for the first time in decades and all in the same month.
You can do this, you can enjoy your family and release your anxiety today. 
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Indeed the alcohol has not only been an enemy of mine, but at the same time a best friend, companion, sharing moments of sadness and loneliness but Joy and exciment as well. Now its less exciting, but peaceful and balanced.
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I did my first sober holiday a few months into sobriety. It was weird, but amazing! I focused on doing things I wouldn’t have done before… Being up to watch the sunrise, being able to hire a car and go to places that wouldn’t have been an option otherwise. Plus like you say appreciating time with the people around me and NO HANGOVERS! And enjoying that I was making memories that I would actually remember.
I also read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. Maybe some quit lit or a podcast to help reinforce your choices? And checking in here of course 
I think this is true for much of life… When we can find the novelty and opportunity in situations it helps. There is also something about finding peace, acceptance and beauty in the mundane. Just different ways of looking at things.
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Thank you so much for all your replies and tips, I was Yesterday in a beach bar, we wanted to observe the sunset, and I had a…soft Drink! Was very tricky as eveyone was having fancy cocktails, trying to make me try a sip, but I said no thanks. My Family (Kids, ex hubby, ex in laws) do not know Im an alcoholic, so I dont have any support here…but everyone was okay with that, Not being persuasive at all. Inwas so proud, it was a beautiful evening, I was so clear in mind, had nice conversations.
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Proud of you Karo! 
This is a great example of working on your recovery! You had a “problem” (triggers/cravings), asked for help, listened to to replies and acted on it.
This is a win/win situation because trough stretching your sober muscles by doing something difficult they become stronger!
You become stronger and so is your sobriaty!
So keep doing what you are doing, we are here for you to support! 
Again…well done!
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Proud of you. You’ve asked a question and gotten answers that have helped fortify your sobriety. Ever so important. Keep this post handy. Lots you have said and others have said that will be valuable to you in your weaker moments.
Hey friend ! I recently went on a sober holiday and I will agree it was extremely tough. However, I was able to get moctails like a surely temple or seven and OJ , I had researched a bunch of non alcoholic fruity beverages and asked the staff to make some for myself after explaining my situation. They were amazing and funny enough the group I was with began drinking moctails with me! Everyone knew of my alcoholism there I was very open and honest and thankfully had a lot of people watching out for me so there was no accidental slips with drinks. Stay positive !!
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Hi, there, Karo. Michael here. I celebrated thirty (30) years last month. I have been doing this awhile. My drug of choice was alcohol. Second drug of choice was cocaine. My best friend was my coke dealer. That’s enough info about me.
The American Society Of Addiction Medicine states that only two percent of us will make it past the two year milestone and still be off all mood and mind altering substances (that would include nicotine). Only two percent. That means the odds are stacked against all of us to survive recovery successfully. Keep this statistic in mind when you go through your day wondering whether you are doing the things you need to do to survive. Are you ready to do whatever it takes to stay out of that 98% group?
What exactly is your recovery program? Can you articulate some elements or steps of your recovery program? If you have been through inpatient or outpatient treatment you should have a plan. Do you have one?
Unless you have at least two or three years of continuous recovery (not just sobriety), I strongly suggest you avoid going into any bars. You are playing with fire. It isn’t about whether you like it, it is about what you need to do in recovery and whether you have the courage and motivation to do it. If you are serious about staying in recovery, you must first be willing to “do whatever it takes” to succeed, not just survive, to reach recovery and true joy and happiness in life. Recovery, not just sobriety, is not about what you like, it is about doing the things necessary to succeed in recovery. And trust me, you don’t have to like what you need to do. Nor will you like what you have to deal with in your daily living all the time. You do have to be willing to follow instructions from others whom you use as your “set of tail lights” to lead you through your darkness to recovery and to accept those concepts that are proven successful. This is not some ethereal concept. I and most of my colleagues who have a lot of recovery are happy in life and we know how to find joy every day despite having very, very difficult setbacks and crises, worse than when we were drinking and using.
Are you willing to do what it takes? Show me. Tell me what your recovery plan is. This is how I can assist you to reach success in not mere “sobriety” but in recovery.
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Thank you all die your Support, I did mange to seceed in my First sober Holiday! With your Help, the App, the Community, daily Reading and staying connected. And it was a wholesome holiday indeed! Had beautiful moments, seen amazing places and was always there mentally
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That’s great news. It always helps when you can take a community of sober people with you wherever you go. Even if we’re not really physically there. I personally have ruined so many holidays and vacations for myself or for other people, that it’s nice to just relax, enjoy it and not have to worry about it anymore. It just makes life so much easier
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