Hi guys how are you? How are you feeling today? I’m on my second day, for the moment the situation is going well, I wanted to ask you for advice about one thing:
I am invited to a birthday this March 11, it will be the first time I will have social interactions without drinking, but this birthday will obviously have alcohol, has this happened to you before? How did you deal with the situation? Thank you all for listening 
Denise.
I didnt go personally for me as I never felt I could go without drinking, stay strong
Hi Denise!! Yes, this is asked a lot. In early sobriety I think a lot of us decided that being in drinking situations…birthdays, weddings, holidays, get togethers, bbq’s, etc we just had to say no to until we had some good amount of sober time under our belts. I know for myself, I didn’t want to jeopardize what I was fighting so hard for and my #1 priority was me and my sobriety. I said no to a lot of stuff and I don’t regret it.
It is okay to say, I won’t be able to make it after all. There will be another opportunity to celebrate the birthday person. Invite them for a walk or some non drinking activity or just send a card or just forget about it.
Take care of YOUR needs first.
Hey Denise,
Early on, I skipped the social events. I could see me talking myself into having a drink; “its only been x days, just quit again tomorrow”, as I have done so many times before. It was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.
I abstained from social events for about 90 days. In that time, I learned strategies and coping mechanisms to help remain sober, and most importantly, built a sober support network. Once I had that, I felt I was better prepared to begin being social again.
This worked for me because the alternative never did.
When I’m serious about sobriety I didn’t go anywhere near people places and things to do with alcohol for 3 months.
I had a birthday where I booked myself a silks class. Maybe do something that you’ve always wanted to do for your birthday, bungee jump, juggling class, etc
Yes all of this I can relate to
I did not go. My sobriety was far to important. Nothing horrible happened by me not going. No one hated me…and I stayed sober
Very simple answer…Don’t go!
I avoided all social events for the first few months including holidays with family and friends. The next year, no one even mentioned me not being there the year before. The point is life goes on and there will be plenty more birthdays and holidays to enjoy with those same people when we’re stronger in our sobriety.
Here’s a great post I suggest you check out: