What first step actions did you do in 12-step recovery?
Were there any that you balked at?
I was in the program for a long time, with a few sponsors. But I kept being asked to take a humble job for my first step and was afraid of the pay cut, so I just gave up on doing the steps. I wonder if it would be possible to go back and try again.
My first step was the 1st step, I unequivocally knew I was powerless once I let myself have a drink.
From there I was honest with my therapist, caseworker, iop counselor, the judge and myself. Made my road a lot easier.
I balked at none, I wanted to be sober so fucking bad I would’ve barked naked in rush hour traffic.
Did you have a sponsor? If you did, what did he ask you to do to demonstrate that you did the step?
My sponsor used a list similar to what Jason Wahler discusses in this link.
I didn’t initially, I was firmly past step 1 when I got a sponsor.
He just sat with me asked me if I was alcoholic, and what being an alcoholic meant to me. Sent me on my way to read the doctors opinion.
There is no step action in there. I always said that they seemed unnecessary, but I was told they were part of the process.
Thank you.
I’ve not read anywhere where quitting your job and taking a less paying one was anywhere in the steps.
Sponsors aren’t surgically attached to you, you can leave a sponsor for another you gel with better any time, that’s why I didn’t have a sponsor for like my first 3 months. The guy I wanted helped me a great deal early on but he was going back to Chicago so he wouldn’t officially take me on. After a bunch of meetings I singled out someone.
The first three steps are pretty vague about what to do. If you read the big book it describe what they are but not how to do them.
I think step actions, though, are more to show the sponsor that you had the internal change the step describes. Otherwise they are just taking your word for it.
Over the years I had a number of sponsors. The humble job was the the most common first step action. I had a sponsor who wanted me to break my lease. It all seemed like bullshit to me, so I just never did the steps.
What you are talking about is paperwork. It sounds like you were not asked to do an action.
That surprises me. But a lot has changed in twenty years, I guess.
My sponsor didn’t want me to change anything, just work and read with him, make meetings/events and actually be happy in sobriety
as i understand a sponsor shouldnt be telling you to switch jobs? that seems way out of line. around here most people say a sponsors role is to take a person through the steps. not to try and manage someones life and all. i would never have signed up for anyone trying to rearrange my life, i just desperately wanted help living it wo drink/drug. my sponsor was pretty much like @CaptAZ described. i dont really have any action ideas from step one i kind of believe i came into the program on two as i was entirely aware of my alcoholism and saw perfectly clear ways my life was unmanagable.
I was told that step actions were part of the step. My last sponsor was willing to give up that step action if I could come up with one of my own.
That said though, I always got into trouble because I was not “willing.” I never took job or family advice from my sponsor, which proved that I did not really believe my life was unmanageable.
I love the principles of the program, but sponsorship and the steps we too close to indentured servitude for me.
I am glad you had a better experience than me.
When i first went to AA i just wanted to get rid of this alcohol thing aka problem.all advice i was asking for, all questions i had and all answers i got or advice i received: yeah, well, nooooo or but… this was my answer to any advice or offered help.
Were you asked to do a step action? Was it leaving your job? Or something else? Even if you said “nooo or but” I am curious since no one else seems to have been asked to do a step action.
Most of my time in the program we did not have forums like this. Asking questions about the program f2f was discouraged. So information was not as available.
Also, I never socialized with people from the program, so I do probably know less than most people.
Sounds like you took what you needed and left the rest, no problem with that, stayed sober right? I’d say you made it work for you
The step 1 action is to not drink, go to meetings and make lists. I’ve never heard a sponsor request someone to change jobs. That’s an unreasonable request especially when your family depends on that income to survive.
Thank you.