First time actually considered picking up again

First time sharing here.

Brief background: 37 male. Drank heavily from 14-36, the final five(ish) years consisting of daily drinking, morning till passing out in the P.M. major health issues (heart disease, stroke and other relatively minor things). Few rehabs and 2 DUIs. For the first time ever, I was able to celebrate a year sober on 8/6.

Anyway, today is the first time since last August I’ve seriously considered picking up. I’m recovering from knee surgery, my partner is down south on vacation, and I’m feeling pretty emotionally empty and depressed. I forgot what this feels like - my depression and anxiety kind of drifted away a few months after getting sober. I would exercise but the recent surgery precludes me from any physical activity.

I’m going to a mtg this afternoon, but wanted to hear from those of you who have had “close calls” and what type of thinking or other strategy you used to maintain your sobriety.
Many thx to whoever responds and the community in general.


Had some “close calls” last months. Sober life isn’t always easier.
But, picking up won’t change it a bit. It may have helped me very shortly in moments of desperation, but the next day nothing would have changed except fucking up my recovery.

Just keep in mind that whatever goes on in life, there’s nothing that picking up won’t make worse.

What you don’t deal with now, will hunt you another day.

Welcome and congrats with a year !


Congratulations for your year of sobriety.

Remind yourself of this and remind yourself why you stopped. You said you feel emotionally empty. Is there someone you can reach out to and discuss this with. A sibling, a close friend anyone who you are really close with. Do you happen to have a sponsor who may be able to help you figure out why you are feeling low and lend support as well.

A big part of my drinking was also because I was sad and disconnected but drinking only drags us down to a darker hole.

Stay strong and hope the word of encouragement here help you out.


Get some inspirational books ordered, by people who’ve quit and what they went thru.

Instead of picking up a drink, pick up a book and read it.


Awesome that you checked in and have a meeting to attend. You won’t regret hitting the pillow sober.


Congrats on one whole year of one day at a times (ODAATs) this could be milestone malady which creeps in. Increase meetings and keep checking in here. Youve come this far dont give up now!


Play the tape forward. If you pick up that drink you pick up all that comes with it. Loss of control, the cycle of alcohol addiction, health problems.

If you leave it alone and go to bed sober, then you wake up with no alcohol problems to add to your current feelings. On top of that you may feel better! If you drink you will feel worse.

Do something good for yourself and take good care of yourself. You deserve to be safe and healthy.


Thx to everyone. Lotta great suggestions.

Went to a mtg and while it sounds super cliche, just being around fellow alcoholics/addicts helped me out. Looking forward to a hangover-free morning coffee!


Yeaaaa! Stick around. Your story and your sobriety journey will only enrich the threads. Im glad you reach out today. See you around!


Meeting makers make it. You and I (and lots of others) did the most important thing for ourselves today… not taking a drink!

Hugs on your year and show off that real steel when you get the chance.


Meetings will make it easier , good you have a network round you so when that stinking thinking comes along you have defence wish you well


Good To hear your meeting helped. Stick around.
There’s lots of people on here always open to a chat.