Good morning, afternoon and evening all. today is day 11 alcohol free and day. 8 cannabis free . I never thought I would be able to go a whole week without buying cannabis life was with my bong it came everywhere with me while I was absolutely blackout drunk (yeah I could do both VERY WELL) I’ll do it TOMMOROW was my mantra until I couldn’t remember the things I was supposed to do only really getting off my ass when Friday and I collected my daughter . I went to meetings for my alcoholism and was willing to try and give that up but the thought of being completely sober in life absolutely appalled me FUCK THAT… fortunately tho going to as many meeting s as I did really screws up your drug taking 
eventually you want to try and find a way to stop that too because you’ve gained insight into how sick living like that is .I’ve been counting my pregnancy nine years ago as when I was last clean but when I look back I did have the occasional spliff in the beginning and by the time I was seven months I was smoking a few spliff s a night, I did manage to white knuckle the alcohol but was obsessive with people not being allowed to either and I drank like a fish after she was born healthy. I remember being in hospital thinking get this fucking child out of me so I can go home and get fucked .8 hours after she was born I was back home I was getting serious cravings for alcohol and I was at the point of leaving if they didn’t discharge me . so today is the first time in 27 years and since the very first time I bought a drug at 17 that I have been a week clean. For all the people newer than me here please remember we’re Addict s we don’t have the privilege of CHOICE over our doc we don’t buy drugs once a fortnight because we fancy it ,we will end up needing it everyday like a pint of milk it’s a demon and it won’t stop until it takes all of you and your fucking soul …so today I’m full of gratitude for everyone who’s helping me on here and very enlightened by my own capabilities. I will continue to give to others what others have so freely given to me . Hope your all having a good 24 hours guys… keep coming back
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