Hang around and you’ll hear loads of clichés Marie. Which all are true too… One day at a time and we’re in this together 
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Have you ever listened to or read allen carrs easy way to stop drinking? I listened to it right at the start of my recovery and it changed my mindset about drinking forever
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You sound like me…
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Long walks, long baths, phoning other people, offline and online meetings, crying, praying to who knows what, coming on here and asking for help, wellbeing books, videos, podcasts… Action action action.
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Hello @Button83 and @Marie9631
Welcome to the family 
Use the search option for any keywords. Someone has most likely asked about it in the past. Read through the forum, get advice, educate yourself, ask for help, ask for support or just take part in some of the ‘just for fun’ discussions. Be a part of this community, hold yourself accountable in the daily check-in thread. Read what others share and learn from it.
Sending both of you love 
and strength 
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Welcome to the TS family @Marie9631 and to you @Button83. A big thank you as well for being vulnerable with us.
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I was similar. Not really causing too much trouble for anyone but myself. But i was also not giving all i could to people who i care about, i had lost interest in hobbies, sporadically worked out and just drank to the point where my health was starting to become effected.
Many times i said no more only to go back 2 or 4 days later.
One thing I realised about that cycle of relapse is some people don’t get another chance, that one relapse could be the last and I might never find my way back, so now I’m protecting this sobriety. My life depends on it.
I was you 40-ish days ago.
The first weeks are tough but staying sober just for today then another, then another works.
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@Button83 and @Marie9631 you are not alone! We are right here on this journey with you. Some further ahead and cheering us on to catch up. Some just starting out but we all have a common goal and support eachother to reach it.
One of my favourite things about early sobriety is when you notice your self respect has returned and you never have to feel that guilt or shame again.
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