I drank last night… by myself. Now I have hangover anxiety. I do good for a while and then convince myself that its ok to have a few drinks. And then I’m drinking a micky and going back for more trying to keep that buzz going. And it’s not like I’m drunk texting people or causing problems…I’m drinking alone and watching a movie. And the regret I feel the next morning is unbearable. I literally HATE myself. I feel like a loser. So any encouraging comments would be welcome. What has helped some in the community to stop binge drinking?
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You are not a loser. The anxiety and guilt you feel in my opinion is your own mind telling you that you don’t need this lifestyle. Although I am not new to this forum I found my way back just a couple days ago. We are in the same boat and you are not alone. One day at a time!!! I am way too familiar with drinking alone. I found myself alone and then surrounded by people who did not care about my wellbeing and then woke up bloody and bruised. We can fight this thing together. One step at a time.
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Yea my mind is beating me up. I feel so down and like I failed again. And even before I drink I’m telling myself not to… and then I do. I hate this feeling … but it’s my own fault. I only have myself to blame.
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You’re here, you’re asking for help. You’re not trying to solve this alone. That’s a huge step and very helpful in fighting problematic drinking Julia! Welcome to Talking Sober!
So much support to be found here. So much support to give to others. So much to learn about why we do what we do. Thanks you for sharing about your problem, sharing your story is a big one too. There’s strength in numbers and we’re in his together.
This self blame game is not helpful. It is true that only you can do this. But nobody can do it alone. I’m glad you find us. We’re doing this together. Take your time to check this place out. And one other thing for now: don’t drink today (let us help you with that!) and you’ll go to bed a winner tonight! Just for today friend. We’ll see about tomorrow when it comes. Welcome again, wishing you all success, and big hugs your way.
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I have tears running down my face. I keep trying and also failing. Today I WILL NOT drink. I feel horrible… this is not fun. 40 years old with prior additions and somehow I convinced myself I’m good? The brain is tricky sometimes
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The mind can be a very powerful tool and/or weapon.
The brain controls our behaviours which consequently have consequences, but we control our thoughts which control the brain.
Holding onto these feelings of shame and guilt is what I found to be my inner value system being hurt and dismantled each time I relapsed. Once I could get passed these feelings, knowing they’re tied to habitual unhealthy addictive behaviours, which first began with confessing in meetings and more deeply in therapy and to my doctor, they began to feel less and less powerful. Each time I was met with a trigger or urge and relapsed, I reflected on what occurred for me in those moments. When I could pin point the weakness I had, I worked on it in every way possible until I felt confident it was no longer a threat. I still get feelings of shame and guilt, but now I know it’s because I was met with a decision, and the choice I made didn’t truly and authentically align with who I want to be and become.
These feelings don’t do anything but hold you back. It is the grip of addiction trying it’s best to hold us back and hold us down.
What you experienced is what so many others have, you’re not alone in this.
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Hi Julia, welcome to the forum, im sending you the biggest hug and letting you know that we are here for you…we all understand exactly what its like to be an addict and what your going through, what made the difference for me was finding this place so that i didnt have to go through my addiction and getting sober alone, its the reason ive managed to stay sober, stick around here il be happy to help you as im sure others will too 
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Thank you … I’m going to keep trying to beat this.
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Thank you Starlight14. And thank you for the hug
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Your most welcome, for us addicts its vital to accept that we cannot control our drinking, the only thing we can control is not having that first one, we cannot moderate - ever (imo)
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Yes your right! There’s is no moderation. It’s silly that I keep trying to convince myself that I can.
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Weve all done it me included…u so want to be one of those people who can drink normally but you cant…once i accepted that it just isnt an option for me anymore it actually felt really freeing, i tell myself whatever happens that its not something i can do and so i have to find another way to deal with life
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Alcohol has been behind a lot of problems in my life. Granted I used to drink a 26 a day. Then a micky and then coolers and then once a week and then binging every two weeks. No matter how I look at it … it’s a problem and depressant. I need to find my happy again.
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You can, lean on us, talk it out when u feel ready to, i was absolutely rock bottom when i first came here there are some very wise heads on this site. Have you eaten today? Are u hydrated etc u need to get your basics down for now
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So far I’m lying in bed watching YouTube , drinking tea … a little nauseated.
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Ok try and eat something small and drink plenty, once you feel a little better then you can come up with a plan but for now try and get those basics down and be kind to yourself…you have an illness but with our help you can get through it
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I feel exactly how you feel right now I had my last drink yesterday morning. I dry heaved all day though vomiting whatever I would drink. I hate this feeling I binge drink for days because I want to avoid feeling so sick but I still do it anyways. Unfortunately unlike you I do cause myself my own problems when I drink. I just have no inhibitions and I hate it. I’ve lost so much I just wanna break down thinking about it. Just feel very lost.
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You definitely are not a loser. You are stuck. But you are here now and you reached out, that is such a great beginning. That roller coaster of shame, guilt and hangxiety is awful, I know, we all do. We were all stuck in that same cycle at one time as well.
The good news is you no longer have to torture yourself like that anymore. You can let that shit go, really. Take each day as it comes and commit to getting thru that day without drinking. You can do that. You are way stronger than you think.
I am glad you are here. I hope to see you around. This is a great place to come when you think you want that one drink. Reach out, someone is always here.
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Welcome Marie!
Today you do not have to drink alcohol. Today you can live sober, tomorrow does not matter right now.
I check in here everyday when I promise myself to not use alcohol that day. It helps keep me accountable to my wishes.
There is a big group of us who have decided to ODAAT around this New Year 2024. We are most likely all blurry, confused, upset, hopeful, scared, depressed, and lonely in some way. The list of newbies I have discovered so far:
Tetrax
JP123
Happy_Trails
Charlie_C
SolarEclipse
Bfdeirish
krish
Lexx
Hidden
Cat10
Catmama23
Nomad620
GFP
Leroy
Blondie75
Whitenoise
Earnit
Lastry
Davina_Davis
Button83
Marie9631
I look forward to seeing them check in with me every day on the Checking in to maintain focus thread.
There are also so many longer term sobriety members here who have incredible experiences and knowledge to share with and support each other.
Take it slow and easy for now
No alcohol today
-Solar
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Thank you I appreciate that so much. The loneliness part is so true. Luckily I work today and it’s Sunday so no hard liquor. No alcohol today. I feel a lot better finding this group and knowing I’m not alone as cliche as that is.
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