After countless sober time resets this has to be the last time. Longest I’ve gone this past year is 3 days before reseting… and that is rare… I got incredibly drunk with my husband last night and stayed up drinking til 3. Woke up with a nasty hangover but I have had worse. Then at about noon out of nowhere I felt the need to vomit and ran to the bathroom. First was all the Gatorade I drank then blood. It scared the crap out of me and I was pale as a ghost and shaking. About 10 mins later vomited up more dark brownish blood and fell asleep for half an hour immediately after. I cant do this anymore. When I’m all of a sudden vomiting blood! I am so upset with myself that I’ve let myself get to this point but maybe its the visual I need to stick to the wagon for good
Oh @Desire88 that must of been pretty shocking for you. Most definitely time to stop! I lost a lovely friend this last july to the drink. She literally started the way you describe but she just kept on drinking. 
Addiction is a bastard! You can change this course. You have to fight for it! I’m so glad you’re back with us, welcome back! Remember…
NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES!! Come on! Let’s do this 
@Desire88 From my experiences I have been to the puking stages a few times and it feels like death is upon you… I don’t wish that on anyone, time for change des. Our body is our temple and we have to rebuild from here on out. That is a sign from your body saying “it is time” to build me better. Feel better and put the “booze” aside. Time for new hobbies and a healthier living for you and your husband. Living that way is just torture and misery. Keep your head up. Always reach out. You got this! 
Hey lady…this sounds like a late ditch effort of your body to try and keep you from killing yourself. Dark brown blood in your vomiting is no joke. People think old alcoholics are the ones that die of ulcers, cirrhosis and liver failure but…since the extensive use of alcohol has only increased, doctors are seeing chronic alcohol abuse related deaths all over. My friend’s ex boyfriend just died from complications of alcoholism at 42. It sounds like you need to go see a doctor, come clean with them, they’ll be able to run tests to figure out what’s going on, and help discuss your options for treatment. You get a choice right now of if you are going to let this be the moment that changes the rest of your life, or if it’s just going to be a passing stop on the train ride into oblivion and death. Sending you lots of love today 
Been ch there the blood throwing it up and bile your body yelling at you to quit.
You have to commit to sobriety and stay committed. I had a very close friend that told me stories of vomiting just like you. I found her dead on her bedroom floor a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, she didn’t get a second chance but you do!! This disease wants us dead. Please do whatever it takes to stay sober.
. Please listen and get some help.If you are to the point of vomiting blood then you may be beyond the point of quitting on your own. Alcohol withdrawal can kill!!! Please think about going to the hospital or a detox so you can come of it safely. You must be honest with them about your drinking or they won’t be able to completely help you. Your body is trying to show you it’s slowly dying. Listen to it and love yourself enough to do this. Ultimately it’s your decision. I hope you make the right choice.
Wishing you the best of luck
Checking in…how are you doing today Dez??? Feeling any better? It’s a good time to start making a plan for recovery.
Sorry for the late response everyone. I just logged on. Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement and the blunt words as well. I definitely need those. Im staying strong and I have a plan. No alchohol in the house and all triggering things moved to the garage where I dont go, such as glasses and openers and things. Today I am starting to read this book and get into it. My area is not really open for in person things due to covid restrictions so I cant go to a meeting but im going to start doing zoom ones with a sobriety group I found on facebook. I called my psychiatrist and admitted about my drinking problem and she is adjusting my medications. Im completely serious and have to do this and want to. And im going to log in on here multiple times a day and at least read the motivational posts. It really does help and I wish I had logged back in sooner
Take it from me that’s how it started with me to only go on a 7 day relaps which left me in hospital vomiting blood turn out I had a bleed in my stomach threw alcohol it was the worst pain I’ve felt I was inhospital for 5 days couldn’t eat and just about drink water now I am on medication that’s a big sighn take it from me leave the drink it’s poison
Thank you♡
I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine how scary that must have been. I will do my best to not be found the same way. I promise
Here’s some online options (in addition to the sobriety group you mentioned). It can be helpful to have a place to go when your mind starts trying to play with you - it’s always nice to have a meetings happening somewhere in the world that you can join: