Freshly sober with partner who drinks

Anyone have advice for staying sober when your partner still wants to keep drinking every day? I find it extremely difficult to obstaim from drinking when theres always booze in the house. Especially starting (again) in my first week. Im a out of sight, (kinda) out of mind gal. Any advice is helpful. Hopefully this app will hold me accountable this time


Welcome! There are folks here who are working on sobriety with partners who still drink, and I’m one of them. It would be so much easier if my husband didn’t drink. But he does, Every. Single. Day. :unamused:. So for me, it was at first a slog, I resented his drinking like mad. Eventually though, I realized he has to do him and I have to do me. I quit drinking for me. The first few weeks were the hardest, as I had tried and relapsed so many times before. But I stuck with it and now I feel so much better, and cravings have all but disappeared.
I read a lot of good literature, listened to podcasts, found TS. Have a good read around and see what you find helpful. Lots of tools and advice and support here. Use the search bar to find any topics of particular interest. Come here often!:wave::heart:


Welcome! When I first got sober I spent my time out of the home I was used to drinking in by going to AA, doing healthy things outside/outdoors and coming on here to stay focused.

Hard as hell when your partner is still drinking in front of you but totally doable.

It’s certainly okay to ask them to drink elsewhere (and keep it away from inside the house) as you realize that it’s killing you and you wanna live!

Don’t listen to yourself or your partner when it comes to drinking. Listen to folks who are putting in the work and you’re gonna move forward in so many + ways. Do today, for today. Its all any of us have & need to protect.

Hugs to ya and we’re so excited you’re here!


Hi Jenni welcome to TS :slightly_smiling_face:. Below is a great link for what you are dealing with.

Hopefully, between answers here and info there you find some good tips. Best wishes to you :slightly_smiling_face:


Welcome Jenni! :blush:
I was one of these people who had a husband who drank every single day when I got sober. It wasn’t easy at all but it’s doable. I had to lean heavily on this forum and the people I met in AA. Meetings were a life saver, both in person and online. Thankfully, my husband got sober 2 years into my journey but those first couple years were hell. Keep focusing on your sobriety and everything else will fall into place. Wishing you the best.


Hey there Babyb!! My husband still drinks, so I hear you. It can be a challenge with a spouse who drinks, but sobriety for you is still 100% doable. Similar to Lisa and Pattycake, it was a slog and built resentment in early sobriety, but it did get easier over time.

I had to get real clear with myself that whether or not he drank, I and only I…me me me…was responsible for if I drank. That was hard to get, but it was and is true. True also was I had to put myself to bed early a lot. I also joined fitness/dance classes so I could leave the house atnight and workout instead of sitting around watching him drink. Or I took long baths and read or cried or came on here. In good weather I rode my bike or took walks or runs or drives. It wasn’t great, but it got me thru. I took up baking, leaned into working out and read a TON of quit lit. This Naked Mind was a good one.

After awhile I was better able to talk to him about what I needed. After awhile I better knew what I needed. No wine in the house was a big one.

Anyway…you are not alone. :people_hugging: Don’t pick up that first drink. And stay focused on the right this minute. You can be sober right this minute. :people_hugging::heart::people_hugging:


I really wanted to get sober this time. My wife and I were drinking buddies forever. I hid this app from her for about ten days and then told her what I was doing. I was getting support and this time I was STOPPING. No more. I’m done! We talked about it and she supports me but she’s going to drink. My first couple of years were hard staying sober. Just like anyone else though. I was focused on me and me not drinking I didn’t really care that she drank. Ya I’d come on here and whine and complain and bitch about her drinking. It helped. But that is her problem not mine.

Now I am struggling with her drinking and I go to Al-Anon meetings. Her drinking has made my life unmanageable. So I go to Al-Anon now and it’s a program for me. For me to learn to take care of myself. So you could say I’m a double winner. There’s lots of us “double winners,” at Al-Anon and at AA. It’s a great 12 step program and it has saved my life and probably our marriage. She’s still drinking. I’m still sober. But I got boundaries and meetings and friends in a program that understand what I’m going through.
Good luck on your journey.
Hope to see you around.
:pray: :heart: