Friday’s are hard

Well another week down. I have 20 days today. Happy to be building back up the days after I had 10 months and blew it. Friday gets here and I’m like I deserve a drink! I worked hard all week as a professional. I took care of my little girls. I did right by my husband. I wish I could turn it around and try to think It’s Friday I deserve to be sober! I’m playing it all the way through and that’s what stops me. If I drink tonight I will be soooooo pissed tomorrow. Who else isn’t drinking or drugging tonight?!

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raises hand

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Can you please just delete my account?

I think it is okay to reward myself with something healthy (or healthier than drinking or drugging) after a hard weeks work. Pouring poison into my mouth doesn’t seem like much of a reward. Some cookies maybe. Getting a massage- better. A bike ride- great! Going to the beach and watching the waves. Awesome.
Lots of healthy rewards for me! How bout you?

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Part of recovery, for me, was a dynamic shift in how I lived my life. I changed people, places, and things this time. Not just to eliminate booze physically out of my life, but to eliminate it out of my life mentally. Reward system changed, relaxation system changed, ect.

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Yea maybe something like that. We shall see. My kids just asked me to build a fort so that should take some time. I just really don’t want to drink.

Alcohol and drugs have quite literally hijacked the reward system in the addict’s brain. The need becomes equated with survival, and that is why the craving becomes so strong when we have hightened emotional states…either good or bad…
It sounds like we all know replacing that craving with something positive is an excellent way to retrain the brain to NOT expect drugs or alcohol in those hightened emotional states…as with everything, it takes time…but I promise it gets better! 211 days in and I SELDOM get cravings.

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Just remember that Friday is just another day on the calendar. Literally. There is nothing more special about Friday. And if you need to do something special for yourself to close off the work week there’s lots to do. A yoga class or spin class (or a yoga/spin class!!). Get your sweat on. Or go get a massage or manicure or something else to pamper yourself. Order pizza and binge watch a show you e been too busy to watch. Lots to do!!

You can do it!

Me? I made a spa night in my bathroom. Hot bath, candles, aromatherapy, music…ahhhhh. Feeling good now. :woman_in_steamy_room:t2:

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Love it! That’s great!

@Karci
I hear what you’re saying. In my early sobriety, it took me a long time to get over the TGIF feeling Fri. I worked and would still go out for Happy hour with co-workers/friends. When I quit drinking, they were ok with it at first. But after a couple months, they started making snide comments about me. That was the end of that. I was a school teacher, so I just started working later to get more things ready for the next week. Eventually I got over the fact that they didn’t want me at the bar and I didn’t want to be there either. They became co-workers instead of friends.

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I agree with VSue to a degree. Friday is a special day to most people. It’s the end of the work week! No denying that. But we need to find a better reward ourselves.

I’m still searching for mine. It used to be watching a movie as I don’t watch tv during the week (anymore). But it’s a waste of my time. I want to reward myself with something that I enjoy, but also has a positive on either my mind or my body. I like table tennis and hoping to find a club that has socials Friday nights.

Boardgame night with friends is another option. But for that I would have to have friends. Lol.

I’m also thinking of swapping celebration night to Wednesday. When you think about it, mid week is usually when we need the pickup.

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Kid fort! How many kids do you stack per wall? I get up to three, then I have to go to the neighbors and borrow some from them…

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Weekends sure do have a whole different feel to them sober. Hangover free is nice but staying buzzed fixed that. Im so thankful and hopeful for another chance. I like to stay active and keep my mind busy. I end up enjoying the wknd and feeling good. Ive slipped up many times b4 so i can see triggers and avoid them a little better but im right here on the sober journey with you folks!

Your mind is tricking you, yes you do deserve a treat but pouring poison into your body isnt a treat! Buy a book, have a bubble bath, buy an item if clothing you have had your eye on! Be kind to yourself :heart_eyes:

Well done on your 20 days. It’s hard I know, but it’s true what everyone else is saying. If you want to treat yourself on a Friday night make it family night, go bowling or see a film.
As you know, it’s about change. In your words you did right by your husband, and took care of your girls. I might be wrong, so sorry if I’m out of line, but this sounds like it’s a chore and you need rewarding for it. That’s the addict talking!
Your getting sober first for you. In my experience everything else comes because I’m doing this for me. My family can see the benefits in me, my moods are better, I laugh a lot more. I’m generally a better person.
Sorry if this has rambled a bit, l know how hard it is to change!

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Me! I stayed home and watched Gilmore Girls. Had difficult week. In a nutshell, coworker was bottling up frustration and anger re what I was doing and vice versa. And you know what, if it wasn’t for AA and Al Anon I wouldn’t have had the courage to straight up ask what was going and can we talk about it… But I did! We talked, we hugged, some people cried (me) - because I know now that being vulnerable and asking for help won’t kill me, and if I fell down I can dust myself off and start again. As the slogan goes, just for today… Just for today I will be kind to myself. Just for today I will be grateful for this forum. For open communication. And for not being or having ever to be perfect.

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Last night i had 2 large pizzas and watched all 8 episodes of Black Summer on Netflix. It was a great Friday!

@Karci, the inquisitive and analytical part of me wants to dissect why a “drink” is considered an earned reward. By saying a drink, do you mean just one or do you mean enough to get drunk? If its the former, is it just the taste you enjoy? Or is there an association with an alcoholic drink being a thing an adult does? Like, its the exclamation mark at the end of “I adulted all week!” If its the latter, that you feel deserve to get drunk, what does that really mean?

That was my struggle, I thought I deserve this, to get drunk. I worked all day, I’m an adult, I deserve it. But when I really think about it, what I was really saying is, I don’t want to be responsible anymore. I got drunk so that I had an excuse not to be responsible for anything for the rest of the night. I shut down and closed the world off and lived in my own little world. I may have “deserved” that, but what, pray tell, did my family do to deserve that from me?

Anyway, it’s interesting to use root.cause analysis, like the 5 Whys method, to get to the root of a problem like that.

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I relapsed many time on friday, but this friday i have decide to eat a heavy meal after my work so to fill my stomach and no place for booze

Totally agree that the routine of Friday’s is a lot harder than the rest of the week for me too. Hope you’re making it thru this Friday alright :pray:t4: